The Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes
by yourpenmate
Summary: Before he became the leader of the notorious Saviors and before he encountered the citizens of Alexandria, Negan first encountered a woman named Lucille. Negan/OC
1. Elfin Beauty

**Hey everyone! This is my first TWD FF and after that last episode with Negan, I decided to write about him. I haven't read the comics (i know, shame on me) but I'm a very loyal fan of the TV show (thanks to my Mum who's obsessed with it). I did my research on Negan so I know some stuff about him from the comics (e.g. he swears a lot and apparently has sexual fantasies about his bat lol) but I can't wait until he gets more on-screen time on TV because Jeffrey Dean Morgan is one charming silverfox!**

 **Anyways, I finally grew the balls to publish this story. I hope you guys will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own Negan**

 **Don't forget to drop some** **REVIEWS** **to let me know if you're liking it (or hating it). Reviews, whether good or bad are very motivational! Let me know if my Negan is out of character or something!**

* * *

 _ **I**_

 _ **'HARMONIOUS EARTH'**_

* * *

The first time he saw her, she was just some elfin beauty browsing around the site in search for a vehicle that would suit her needs. It was early spring and the snow that blanketed the area for months just melted. The weather was still chilly and he was still pissed that the coffee machine in the office was broken. He cursed the bastard who broke it under his breath several times since he discovered it broken. He didn't know who did it but once he finds out who did…well, he'd give them a lesson.

"Excuse me," the elfin beauty called out to him, attempting to earn his attention. She was waving at him as if calling out was not enough.

He approached her, adjusting his tie while doing so. "Can I help you?" he responded coolly as he stopped in front of her. She was short and for a tall man like himself, she was very short, shorter than he thought she was when he was watching her from a distance.

She smiled softly, being friendly. "Hi, I'm just wondering if Paul is working today?" she wondered. She was looking up at him like he was a giant. She had a pair of big kaleidoscope green eyes with specks of different shades of green, brown and hazel.

"No," he replied as he turned his gaze away from those green eyes. They were surprisingly hypnotic. She looked disappointed.

He watched as she brought up her thumb to her lips, chewing on her cuticle unknowingly. "Oh, okay. Well, Paul and I have been negotiating in regards to the Impala over there," she started, removing her finger from her lips to speak clearly. His gaze followed her index finger as she pointed at the car behind him. He smirked. She was pointing at the 1965 Chevrolet Impala Super Sport positioned at the far corner of the site where most of the rejected and useless vehicles were on display.

"You want that piece of shit over there?" he laughed, turning his gaze back to her.

She looked outraged, whether it was because of his foul, unprofessional mouth or the insult addressed to the car, he wasn't sure. "She's not a piece of shit," she quickly defended the vehicle.

He scoffed. "Sweetheart, that Impala is one of our most expensive and oldest stuff for sale. Are you really willing to pay so much for something that will give you more problems than satisfaction?"

She folded her arms across her chest and looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Well, what do you recommend I buy then, 'Mr Car Salesman' since you seem to know what's best for me," came her sassy response. He nodded towards lime green coloured Volkswagen Beetle parked behind her. She looked at it then looked back at him with a disgusted expression on her face.

"Oh come on," he laughed, "a fun sized ride for a fun sized little lady." His little comment only made her frown.

"Paul and I discussed the problems of the Impala," she began, she was making it clear to him that she was not in the mood to stay any longer in his company.

"Then why do you want to buy it?" he wondered out loud, well aware of the one hundred and one different problems of the ancient car. The Impala may be good looking on the outside but its condition can be compared to a 90-year-old slowly dying of old age and fifty different health problems.

"I've been saving up for that car since I was nineteen," she pointed out. "Can I just sign the papers and get her right now?" he laughed at her impatience.

"You know, the cost of her repairs will be more expensive than the price you'll pay to get her-…"

"Oh stop trying to convince me to buy that ugly Beetle," she interrupted him, pausing when she realised she didn't know his name. Her eyes dropped from his face and towards the nametag that was pinned on the breast pocket of his white shirt. "Negan," she read, "Negan, I'm ready to buy Besty over there," she announced, referring to the Impala with the name she had allegedly provided grinned in amusement.

"Funfuckingtastic," he exclaimed. She was determined to purchase the Impala and there was nothing he can do to convince her that it was a shitty investment. Anyways, at least he would be able to get rid of the vehicle and get a sale out of it.

For the next several minutes that followed, she was busy filling up the papers he provided her to complete the transaction. As he sat across her, he watched her complete the task with a surprising amount of interest. He observed a number of things about her during the time she was busy filling the papers. He noticed that she was a left-hander and he noted her little mannerisms like how she would crinkle her nose or chew on the cuticle of her thumb. While he noticed her little actions, there was no denying that he also observed her physical features appreciatively like how any man would in his situation. Apart from her shortness, there was something about her physical appearance that made her appear innocent and cute…sort of like the girl-next-door type. He never liked those type of women but there was something oddly appealing about her.

"Okay, I'm done," she looked up from the paperwork with a bright smile on her face, no longer as impatient as she was earlier. She had a pretty smile.

He took the paper from her and checked whether she filled up everything correctly. "Lucilla, is that your name?" he wondered as he read her name written in her neat, cursive writing.

"It's Lucille," she corrected him. Lucille…he'd never heard of that name before, he thought to himself, quite impressed.

"Sorry," he looked up from the paperwork, "your 'e' looked sort of like a fucking 'a'," he explained.

She seemed used to his unnecessary and unprofessional cussing by now. "That's okay," she smiled once again. "I go by Lu, it's much simpler," she explained. He tried not to laugh at that one. She acted as if Lucille was a ten-syllable name that needed to be cut shorter but he said nothing about it.

"Well, Lu, congratulations, you're officially the new owner of that shitty old Impala!" he declared.

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 **So how was it? Don't forget to drop a REVIEW :)**

 **Also, when I looked up what Negan did pre-Apocalypse, there were some sources that said he was a used car salesman and some other sources said he was a ping-pong coach and a school teacher, I'm using both ideas, just letting you guys know in advance. Anyways, if I haven't stressed it enough, leave some REVIEW pretty please :)**


	2. A Helpful Advice

**I**

 **'HARMONIOUS EARTH'**

* * *

He turned up to Cavanagh Automotive Repair first thing in the morning on Saturday with his Harley Davidson in the back of his truck. He was a motorcycle enthusiast and his bike was his most prized possession, it was his baby, the love of his life. Typically, he can solve any problems that his bike had by himself but recently, he noticed that the performance of his bike had been declining and the problem was something he cannot determine nor fix. As a final resort, he decided to bring her to the experts.

As he pulled into the large garage of Cavanagh Automotive, the first thing he spotted was a familiar black and chrome Chevrolet Impala parked along with the other vehicles that were brought in for repair. He smirked to himself and wondered how much were all the repairs for the old Impala. A husky man with a long, forked white beard dressed in blue coveralls bearing the shop's logo approached him and inquired how he can help him. For some time, Negan explained the problem he had with his motorcycle and the older man listened intently while they unloaded the truck so that the mechanic can check the motorcycle. It didn't take long before the mechanic noticed the problem and Negan found himself following the husky old man to the office to discuss the matter in terms of the price.

The husky old man was named Bobby and throughout their discussion, he never failed to let Negan know that he was getting a good deal. "We're the cheapest mechanic you can find around here," he claimed proudly. In the midst of their conversation, there was a loud knock on the door. "Come in!" quickly, Bobby responded as the door opened and both men turned their gazes to the newcomer.

Dressed in a dirty, faded blue coverall that was identical to Bobby's, the woman stepped inside the room. "Hey Dad, Mum just called, Chris finally came home-…" her voice trailed off when she realised that her father had company. At first, she was embarrassed to barge in and then surprised and intrigued.

Negan was tempted to chuckle in amusement. What are the chances that he would see the elfin beauty from a few months ago? She stood near the door, looking a little odd dressed in her coveralls with her frizzy, short brown hair tied back in a messy ponytail. Lucille, he recalled her name immediately. How could he forget such interesting and unique name? Somehow, he would never expect a woman named Lucille to be working as a mechanic, especially not when she's some five foot two, scrawny little lady.

"Sorry to interrupt," sheepishly, she found her voice before she turned around to leave.

"That was my daughter, Lu," Bobby informed him as he nodded towards the door as soon as she shut it behind her, "my wife named her something pretty like Lucille in hopes that she'd turned out all feminine and girly in a family consisting of three boys, she was wrong. That little firecracker has more balls than her brothers half the time," he chuckled, clearly affectionate with a soft spot for his daughter.

Bobby assured Negan that he would be able to pick up his bike during the afternoon. Negan's day became interesting despite a fairly boring start when his bike failed him when it refused to start. He found himself thinking excessively about the dainty woman named Lucille. She was certainly an interesting character. He normally didn't find women like her attractive but there was certainly something very charming about the elfin woman and she was able to charm him with little to no effort armed with her smile and faded, mechanic coveralls.

When he returned later that day to pick up his bike, Bobby was nowhere in sight. The person who approached him was none other than the same little lady he often caught himself thinking about throughout the day. "Oh, so you're the owner of the Harley," she exclaimed with great interest once she learned what he came to the shop for. She momentarily stopped in her tracks and turned to look at him with her index finger and thumb cupping her chin. "So let me get this straight, you're a used car salesman who rides a motorcycle instead," she commented. It was as if the whole idea was mind-boggling to her.

"Is that fucking illegal?" came his response. She crinkled her nose at his use of profanity.

"No, of course not," she clarified as her kaleidoscope, vibrant green eyes looked at him from head to toe.

"So how's your shitty old Impala?" he decided to ask.

"First of all, she is not shitty," she retorted, frowning as if offended by his words, "she's just in a bad condition but I've been fixing her and soon, I'll be able to use her regularly," she told him, answering his question. "Do you want to see her?"

Her invitation surprised him. Negan was amused. He couldn't give two shits about her second-hand car but she seemed so excited to show him that he found himself agreeing. She smiled, it was a beautiful smile. He followed her to the black and chrome coloured Impala and listened as she began telling him all the repairs she had done so far. He didn't really care what she had done to the car. As she spoke, her words simply entered his ear from one side and left the other. While he didn't pay any attention to her words, he paid attention to everything else about her. She seemed happy and excited about the fact that she finally owned the car she dreamt about since she was nineteen. He decided that she must've loved the shitty old car the same way he loved his Harley.

"Anyway, enough about my Impala," much to his relief, she decided to end the talk concerning her car. They went back to the office where Negan discussed the prices for the repairs with Bobby earlier during the day. There was a much younger man sitting behind the desk, occupied with the paperwork when he and Lu stepped inside. She greeted the young man behind the desk before she busied herself searching for his bike's paperwork.

"Hey Chris, do you know where Dad left the papers for the Harley?" she turned to the younger man behind the desk.

"Check on top of the file cabinet," came the lazy response of the young man as he looked up from his paperwork. He saw Negan first and an expression of surprise filled his features. "Hey, you're the gym teacher who got fired for swearing too much," Chris announced, recognising Negan's face.

"Christopher!" shouted Lu from the other side of the room. She approached him fast and smacked the back of his head with a rolled up piece of paper. "You are so incredibly rude, Chris," she claimed, smacking him one more time as she turned her sheepish gaze to Negan. "I'm so sorry about my brother, he forgot his manners."

Negan could only chuckle as he watched Lu smack the top of Chris's head with the rolled up paper once again. "No need to harm the boy, he was only stating the truth," he chuckled but Lu remained embarrassed.

He paid for his motorcycle's repairs and Lu apologised to him profusely about her brother's rudeness. Negan shrugged it off and went to collect his bike. "Hey," he heard her call out through the roar of his motorcycle as Negan prepared to leave. She jogged towards him and reached out to hand him his receipt.

"Thanks-…"

"You know you shouldn't swear too much, it's totally bad for you and you might lose your new job," she said loudly through the rumbling of his bike so that he would be able to hear her.

Negan grinned. "Well aren't you a fucking doll," he chuckled, "thanks for the advice sweetheart, I'll make sure that I put it in my motherfucking jar of useless fucking advice." She blushed, the apples of her cheeks suddenly turned into a bright shade of red. Speechless, she watched him drive away in his motorcycle and was never able to see him again for the rest of the year.

* * *

 **So there you guys have it, that's the end of the first part (I plan to divide the story into four parts) the next part will introduce the apocalypse and I'll try to update as quickly as I can. Stay tuned :)**

 **Thanks for reading everyone :) Don't forget to drop a REVIEW to let me know what you think or FOLLOW to keep track of the story**


	3. Unexpected Turmoil

**II**

 **'PERILOUS PURGATORY'**

* * *

The news about the outbreak spread like wildfire. Not only did it alerted everybody but it spooked a whole lot of people. At first, it was only a rumour that the sickness made the dead rise and the fearful people locked their doors and peered through their windows in fear as shadowy figures explored the streets during the late hours of the night. Eventually, people started encountering the dead who had risen from their supposedly eternal rest. The city was in chaos all of the sudden, people were panicking and leaving with no particular idea where to go to regain the life they had before.

Negan's first encounter with the undead was a brief one. He had been ransacking an abandoned grocery store along with several other people. Like them, he was planned to gather some supplies first before making the big move to leave the city that was in turmoil. The authority, the government…they were all gone in a matter of days since a state of emergency was officially declared. Everyone was on their own now to fend for themselves.

Negan caught sight of the heinous creature with its decaying, horrendous body as he was filling up a duffle bag with canned goods. He was not the only one who saw the creature that no longer resembled the human being it once was before. It smelled like death the closer it got, growling and hungry for a feed. One of the people around fired their gun, once, then twice but the creature went on and persisted until finally on his fifth attempt to kill the creature, the bullet pierced the spot between its eyes and the undead fell to the ground, suddenly motionless. That was how Negan and the people around him learned how to kill the walking corpses.

However, while there was something spooky and hair-raising about the creatures that many feared, Negan was also reminded that day that there was something much more dangerous than the walking dead…and it was the living. He was reminded of it just as he was leaving the supermarket with two duffle bags filled with enough food and other times that could help him survive for a few months. Two men were fighting over the last tin of baby formula. One claimed his wife had just given birth and their baby needed it while the other said that he found it first. The argument didn't last very long, simply because within seconds, Negan witnessed as one of them pulled out a gun and heartlessly shot the other dead.

Negan rushed to his truck, quite shaken by what he witnessed but eager to get away before more of the undead and the living surrounded the area. He knew he needed to leave as soon as possible because it was becoming more dangerous than safe but first, he needed to plan where to go and find some place where he could stay.

Later that evening, Negan once again pulled a bold move when he left the comforts of his apartment. Many feared to step out of their homes at night simply because the walking corpses seem to be more active at night time when it was dark and peaceful. They would roam the streets in hordes, moaning and growling to let everyone know that they were hungry. Negan saw an opportunity to pick up another vital item, which he would be able to do so freely during night time when everyone were too scared to leave the house and fight for such precious resource. He drove from one petrol store to another, gathering what was left behind. As it turned out, there wasn't much left but he still gathered enough to last him for a fairly long time. He was lucky and relieved that he didn't encounter anyone, living or dead, during the process.

A few hours later, with the back of his truck filled with several jugs of petrol, Negan found himself driving home. He was pleased with himself and was feeling successful. While following the familiar path leading to his apartment, he was abruptly stopped by a horde of the undead gathered in the street ahead of him. Frustrated, Negan took another route to avoid them, it was a much longer route and he cussed under his breath, well aware that he would be burning more fuel than initially planned. It didn't take very long before he encountered another problem. He slowed his truck down when he caught sight of an abandoned station wagon in the middle of the road, it was upside down. He was suddenly alerted by a sound that seem to echo through the quiet street. Despite the noisy rumbling of his truck engine, Negan heard the sound of shattering glass as his eyes searched for the source. It certainly didn't come from the station wagon ahead of him, it sounded closer.

His eyes landed on his rear-view mirror and in an instant, he caught sight of a figure running towards his truck in the darkness. Based on his observation, the revived corpses were unable to run. Immediately, he knew that the approaching figure was not one of the revived corpses that he tried to avoid. On the passenger seat of his truck lay a shotgun he owned but never fired at another human being before. He was cautious and alert now as the figure grew closer and closer.

"Help! Help!" came a breathless voice as Negan felt a banging on the side of his truck. He turned his gaze to the side-view mirror and saw, despite the darkness that was merely illuminated by the flickering streetlights, a bloody woman.

"Get in the fucking truck," he barked when he saw that she was not alone. Trailing just a metre or so after her were a small group of growling creatures.

She did as she was told and hastily got inside the truck. She was just shutting the door when Negan stepped down on the gas and avoided the station wagon in the middle of the road by driving around it. No words were spoken between him and the woman he rescued during the journey back to his apartment. It was until Negan parked his car successfully inside his garage and the woman had gotten out of the truck that he recognised her immediately.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he exclaimed, realising that the woman covered in blood was none other than Lucille.

She looked up at him tearfully and said nothing as she wiped away her tears with one of her hands. Negan noticed that her hand was covered with dried blood. He also immediately noticed the object her other hand held and he immediately grew curious but cautious at the same time. In her left hand, she held a wooden baseball bat but the distinct thing about it was the fact that the end of it was wrapped in barbed wire.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he asked as he grabbed her by the arm and led her to his apartment. He knew having a conversation outside at night was not a good thing given that they were very exposed.

She didn't say anything as they entered his apartment. Negan locked the door behind him. As he turned to look at her, he realised how frail and fragile she looked. She was wearing some jeans and a t-shirt way too big for her, barefoot and adorned with blood. Whether the blood was hers or someone else's, Negan needed to know before he fully welcomed her into his abode.

"Did you hear my fucking question?" he began to demand as he took the dangerous, mean-looking weapon from her hand. "What happened to you?"

"I-I," she opened her mouth to speak but only a quivering sound escaped from it.

"For fuck's sake woman, talk!" barked Negan bossily.

"O-our neighbour," she stuttered, "the-they t-turned," he fell quiet, immediately he knew what she meant. She collapsed on the ground with her hands on her face. "T-They killed my f-family."

Negan sighed to himself. "Are you hurt?" he asked her as he helped her limp form up. She shook her head, unable to speak anymore. "Well, I can't have you messing up my fucking floor anymore," he started as he scooped her up, carrying her with ease. He brought her to the bathroom where he left her behind to give her some privacy as she cleaned up herself.

While she showered, he searched his closet for any clothes left behind by the women of his past but he immediately realised that he had thrown them all away. In the end, he picked up a combination of his own clothing by random and left it outside the bathroom before proceeding to busy himself cleaning up the bloody floor where she collapsed in tears. He was glad that he didn't have carpeted flooring or he'd be pretty pissed. As he finished the task, he noticed the blood-stained baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire lying not far from the spot he'd cleaned. Negan picked the object up and brought it to the kitchen where he washed away the blood, cleaning the makeshift weapon.

That night, they had some microwaved lasagne for dinner. She was dressed in Negan's white t-shirt that was big enough to cover half her body and his sweatpants that she had to roll up because it was way too big for her. The only time she spoke was when he handed her some food to thank him. They ate in silence. Negan tried to open the TV and search for any news but there was none. He didn't quite like the silence and finally, he was unable to stand it.

"Your bat, where did you get it?" he decided to ask when he finished his lasagne. He was curious and intrigued by the weapon. He watched her pick on her food and refuse to acknowledge his question for a few minutes. Before Negan was able to repeat his question, she looked up, indicating that she was ready to answer and there was no need for him to ask impatiently again.

"It was my older brother's," came her croaky response. "He, um, he made it to scare away any burglars after he caught a burglar trying to sneak inside his house last year," she looked up with a soft smile on her face as she recalled the memory. "Mom and Dad were against the use of guns so he only had a baseball bat. He said that a baseball bat was not enough so he made it scarier," she recounted.

"It's fucking innovative," Negan complimented. "Did you kill the dead with it?" he wondered as he glanced over at her direction. She nodded her head before she shifted her gaze back to her half-eaten food. He watched as she touched it with her fork. "Will you please stop playing with your motherfucking food?" finally, he grew fed up of watching her poke her food. "Give the goddamn thing to me if you're just going to play with it because I'm still fucking hungry." She looked up at him, wide-eyed. Perhaps he spoke a little harsher with his agitated tone.

"I'm sorry," she murmured shakily as she handed him over her plate, fulfilling his request.

Negan took it from her hands and proceeded to eat her food for himself. He was not going to throw away her left-overs. Food was a precious resource, especially in their current predicament. "Your place, do you have any supplies there we can keep?"

She looked at him with a lonely expression on her face. "Y-Yes," she murmured.

"Good, we're going back there to get it tomorrow."

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 **hey guys, just a heads up, i might update a little slower**

 **anyways, i hope u guys enjoyed reading this chapter. don't forget to drop a REVIEW or FOLLOW the story (because it honestly motivates me to continue writing) :)**


	4. Melancholia and Comfort

**Hey guys, sorry for the slow update. I just wanna thank everyone following this story, i hope you will all stay patient with me and tolerate my slow updates. Also, guess what...I heard that filming for the upcoming season started and a new issue of the comic book was released so it's a pretty exciting time for every TWD fans. Yay**

 **Don't forget to write some REVIEWS to let me know what you think of the story so far and constructive criticisms are always welcome :)**

* * *

 **II**

 **'PERILOUS PURGATORY'**

* * *

An old truck was parked outside an old two-storey house. Once upon a time, the now quiet two-storey house used to be a home so full of life. The sky was grey and thunder rumbled, alerting the two individuals currently inside the two-storey house that a big storm was coming.

When Lu and Negan stepped inside her parents' house, they instantly found what was left of her family which included the excessive amount of blood splattered across the floor, furniture and the wall. Along with it were pieces of bloody clothing and the bits and pieces of human left behind by their devourer. Negan instantly realised that it was a mistake to bring her back but she was a surprisingly a strong girl...or she was just pretty darn good at putting on a new face that hid the dozens of emotions she truly felt. She held her head high and wiped the tears off her face before proceeding to gather the bits of her family's remains to bury in the backyard.

She stayed in the backyard for some time long after she and Negan buried what was left of her family and while he left her alone to grieve, he busied himself turning the house inside out, bagging every item he deemed useful. It seemed that her family's devourer had left as soon as they had their meal and Negan let his guard down a little when he realised that it was just him and Lu in the house. Some time later, he found her inside one of the bedrooms that he assumed was hers. She was packing some clothes.

"We should leave soon, a storm's coming," he told her.

She zipped up her bag and turned to him. "I'm ready," came her husky response.

They made their way back to his apartment in silence. She helped him take the supplies he had taken from her family's house to his apartment without uttering a single word. Negan was not an expert when it comes to women's emotions or even human emotions that weren't his own for that matter but he sensed that she was still very upset. He decided that it would be best if he leave her alone for some time and let her grieve.

As the days passed, Negan occupied himself studying various maps as he attempted to figure out where to go. He was no longer alone, he had her to drag along with him. While he wanted to call her a burden, it was too early to assume that and he wanted to give her a chance to step up sooner than later. He had been letting her grieve the death of her family for over a week now and still, she hasn't recovered. He was beginning to forget the sound of her voice and even what her smile looked like.

"When you're done sulking over there, maybe you can fucking help me figure out where we can fucking go because this motherfucking city is only getting worse by the minute," he told her late one night, his impatience finally got the best of him. He can't afford to drag someone who would only become a burden to him, not in this new world. She said nothing in response and Negan cussed under his breath before retiring for the night, feeling quite frustrated.

The following day, Negan woke up from the smell of coffee that led him straight to the kitchen. The first thing he saw was Lu, freshly showered and occupied slaving herself away in the kitchen. "Am I fucking dreaming?" he wondered out loud, impressed but also intrigued.

"Hey," she greeted, a little taken aback to realise that he had woken up. They ate breakfast that morning. He noticed that her eyes were less bloodshot and wondered whether she slept better last night. "I want to thank you for looking after me, Negan," she told him in the middle of their meal. "I'm sorry I've been a burden for the past several days and I hope you didn't waste much of your resources on me. I'll be out of your-…"

"Goddamnit, you're one fucking dramatic little woman," exclaimed Negan with a laugh, cutting her off as soon as he realised what was going on. So the nice, big breakfast was her way of saying goodbye after all. "Where are you going? Enlighten me, please?" he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest while he waited for her response. He smirked as he watched her chew on her nail nervously.

Lu shrugged. "I don't know," finally, she responded. "I know I'm only a burden for you-…"

"You're fucking staying here," he finally confirmed. "I know you're depressed that your family's gone but come on, lighten up a little, at least fucking smile for once," he exclaimed. "From now on, we're sticking together because it takes a fucking man and a woman to repopulate," he continued, momentarily stopping to turn his gaze towards her, anticipating her reaction. He could only laugh when he saw her bright red cheeks and wide eyes as she reacted to his little statement. "I'm just fucking with you," he grinned. "Anyway, if you want to leave, I'm not stopping you but if you want to stay, you're more than fucking welcome to."

"I guess I just have to get used to your potty mouth from now on," she sighed, a small smile appearing on her face. Negan had almost forgotten what her smile looked like so at the moment he caught sight of it appear on her face for the first time in several days, it suddenly felt like a rainbow appearing after a very long storm.

* * *

They lived together peacefully for the next couple of weeks that followed. In the new world, the hours seemed to drag on and on and it made the days seemed longer and a week almost felt like an eternity. Occasionally, they would leave the comforts of Negan's apartment to search for any supplies to add to theirs. They went to different places in the area, from the local shopping malls to empty, abandoned houses. She often went out on supply runs with him, armed with her brother's baseball bat while Negan had his gun. They soon discovered that not only was it hard to find ammunitions for the gun but the sound of gunfire also attracted the walking corpses. Negan eventually armed himself with a knife and saved his gun and ammunition for bigger threats.

During the time they spent living together, they learned quite a lot about each other. Between the two of them, Negan was the one who can't seem to stand the silence. Negan's talkative and energetic nature made her forget about the terrible memories of her family's death and his presence helped ease the nightmares. He was very lively and animated and as she easily noticed, he was very charismatic. It was almost a relief to have him around in the gloomy, new world they lived in. She learned a fair bit of information about him, including the fact that he was once a ping pong coach who worked at the high school where all her brothers went to, he was fired after the a number of parents complained about his excessive swearing and harsh treatment to the students which Negan referred to as just some 'light teasing'. He learned that she never went to the high school where he worked simply because her parents sent her to a private school because they believed that she was the smartest amongst the siblings and had the potential to pursue a great career so it came as a shock to them when she decided that she wanted to work for the family's business. She learned that he liked to play pool, he learned that she liked to read classic novels, she learned that he was a motorcycle enthusiast, he learned that she wanted an Impala since the tender age of ten and only started saving up for one at nineteen when she saw one for sale in the area.

"So what happened to that shitty, old Impala?" Negan found himself wondering out loud one evening as they sat on the couch, relaxing and sharing some warm beer. A few days ago, the power in his apartment completely shut down along with the rest of the neighbourhood.

"Stop calling her shitty, she's old but she was never shitty," once again, she defended her vehicle. "She runs perfectly and I managed to fix half her problems but it doesn't matter now, she's just some car left behind in my father's garage. She won't help make the world a better place, she won't bring everything back to normal," she sighed.

Negan took a swig of his warm beer. "You never know, what if you bought yourself a fucking magical car?" he joked, "and by some fucking miracle, it takes you back in time when everything's fucking normal." Lu giggled and rested her head against his shoulder. He froze as result of her action and for a while, he was speechless, somehow taken aback by her innocent action.

"So are you going to tell me how old you are now?" she decided to ask. She knew several things about him but one thing he never told her was his age. She often brought it up but he would change the topic of the conversation. In return, Lu kept her age to herself and never told him how old she was although Negan always suspected that she was no older than twenty-five.

"Fucking ancient," came his sarcastic retort. Lu giggled.

"I don't think you are," she claimed as she looked up at him. He hasn't shaved for several days and his stubble grazed the lower half of his face. His stubble was the colour of salt and pepper. "You have some grey hair but I don't think you're that old," she continued as she reached to brush his hair with her fingers.

"I'll tell you if you tell me yours," finally, he proposed.

Lu smiled. "How old do you think I am?" she mused, anticipating his response.

"I think you're some sixteen year old pretending to be an adult," Negan responded, earning himself a laugh from her. Her laughter was soft and careless and a sense of satisfaction flooded over him as she threw her head back and clutched her belly. Apparently, he was very funny.

"I'm thirty," she confirmed once her laughter died down. Negan almost spat out his drink.

"That's fucking bullshit," he shook his head, "you are not fucking thirty."

"I am," she confirmed before she got up from her seat. She disappeared for a few minutes before she returned, holding a card in her hand. She presented it to him and he realised it was her driver's licence. She was thirty. The baby-faced, elfin woman was thirty years old. Negan thought it was some sorcery. He had forgotten to question about why in the world she still had her driver's licence as a result of his awe after learning about her age. "So, are you going to tell me how old you are?" she wondered out loud as she sat back down on the couch next to him.

"I'm forty-two," Negan revealed.

Lu turned to look at him. "Oh my god, you are ancient," she exclaimed sarcastically.

"Why the hell do you want to know anyway?" Negan wondered out loud. While he was glad to learn that he was not old enough to be her father, her curiosity regarding his age was still intriguing.

"I was just curious," came her response. "I just noticed that you don't have a ring and I sort of wondered how old you were." Negan raised his eyebrow. Her response didn't even made any sense. How was his age related to the fact that he didn't have a wedding ring? Something told him that somehow, she was curious about his age for the same reason that he was…she wanted to find out if he was too old for her. Negan wasn't normally an overconfident sort of person…alright…maybe a little…but he caught her checking him out even before the world ended. During their very first encounter when she bought her Impala from him, he knew she was checking him out and he was confident that she was still doing it, right at that moment as they sat together on the couch.

"You fucking like me," he declared arrogantly, causing her to momentarily pause. She turned her attention back to him and raised her eyebrow.

"Me?" she pointed at herself as if unsure whether he was talking about her. "Of course I like you, you're my friend but I don't like you like _that_ , of course not," came her nervous retort. "Why the hell would you think that?"

Negan shrugged. "Oh I don't know," he murmured sarcastically. "I'm that sort of man who gets a lady's panties soaked with one mothefucking glance. Do I have the same effect on you?" he turned to her expectantly, a playful little grin was on his face.

Almost automatically, the apples of her cheeks turned a bright shade of red, redder than Snow White's apple. "You don't have any effect on my panties whatsoever, thank you very much," she denied but Negan simply smiled and winked at her. He cackled loudly as her face turned into a deeper shade of red. She can deny all she liked but her blushing face told him another story.


	5. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

**II**

 **'PERILOUS PURGATORY'**

* * *

The remains of a once healthy canine lay motionless on the sidewalk as a hungry walker devoured it. It was enjoying its meal that it was unaware of the two approaching figure behind it. "You do it," Lu spoke quietly, turning to Negan.

"Lazy fucking woman," he muttered to himself, loud enough for her to hear as he withdrew his knife to stab the unsuspecting creature from the back of its head. A few seconds later, it lay motionless on the ground, it was dead for good.

"I'm not a lazy fucking woman," Lu retorted, mimicking his voice as they continued to walk, both carrying heavy bags containing items they have found from different houses. "Do I need to remind you that I killed eight of them today and you only killed 3, including that one you just killed?" she pointed out. Negan rolled his eyes. Lately, she developed a habit of turning everything they do into a competition from the number of walkers they kill to who can eat their dinner faster.

"I'm gonna need a fucking drink," muttered Negan as he began to walk away with her following was under the impression that they were headed home, to Negan's apartment that has become their home over the past few months…it was their sanctuary. However, she was proven wrong when Negan stopped in front of an old, abandoned tavern.

"Is this stop really necessary?" she asked as she followed him closely.

"I'm gonna need it to put up with you on the fucking way back," muttered Negan as he peered at the glass window of the tavern, searching for any sign of life. "Looks like someone was here before us," he declared, taking note of the lifeless bodies sprawled inside.

"I think this is a terrible idea, Negan-…"

"Lighten up, kid," chuckled Negan, cutting her off as he proceeded to kick the door open. He was welcomed with the revolting scent of death as he looked around at the decaying bodies of the slain walkers scattered all over the place. There were about twelve dead walkers and judging by the fact that almost half their bodies were just bones, they have been killed for a while.

"Seriously, you have to stop calling me a kid, Negan," she continued to yap as she shut the door behind her. They followed their typical drill and searched the place for any threat, armed and ready to strike.

"I know, I know, you're a grown, thirty-year-old little lady and there's nothing kid-like about you," chuckling to himself, Negan murmured as he began searching the bar for any liquor left just as she was returning after making sure they were both safe. Over the past few months that they have been living together and working together to stay alive, she had proven to Negan that she was more useful than he initially anticipated. She was a brave woman and although he could still tell that she feared the creatures responsible for the death of her family, she tends to keep the fear at the back of her mind whenever they were out. He was proud of her for that.

"Did you find anything?" she asked him just as Negan showed her the half empty bottle of Jameson he found.

"Want some?" he asked.

"No thank you," Lu replied, refusing the offer. She was mature enough to know that they need to have a sober person on their way back home.

"More for me," Negan muttered before he took a swig of the whiskey straight from the bottle. As he attempted to finish the half empty bottle of whiskey, Lu sat next to a decaying body of a woman on the other side of the bar. She was starting to get bored when Negan finally abandoned the liquor.

Rather than declaring that they were leaving, he turned his attention to a dusty old jukebox. He cupped his pockets in search for a coin but he realised he had none given the fact that money no longer mattered in the new world they lived in. He asked Lu if she had any but like him, she had none. For the next couple of minutes, Negan busied himself searching the pockets of the dead until finally, he hit a jackpot. Lu had recently gotten used to Negan's weird, playful and rather interesting side and sometimes, she often found it a little funny. She could only chuckle to herself in amusement as she watched him return to the jukebox with the coins he found.

"Oh for fuck's sake!" she heard him exclaim as she got up from her seat to see what was wrong. "The stupid thing didn't let me choose my song," he complained as she peered over his shoulder, standing on her tippy toes to be able to see, given his height.

"Negan, in a few minutes, all the undead are going to come here and dance with you," Lu laughed as she predicted the outcome of Negan's crazy idea to turn on the jukebox and play some songs. He turned to look at her as a song began playing. It was some old 70s song that Lu never heard in her life.

"Do you want to dance, little lady?" he asked her coolly with a charming little grin on his face. She learned to adore the grin on his face over the months they have been keeping each other company. It was an adorable little grin but at the same time, it was very charming.

"Fine," came her response and she hoped desperately that it was dark enough that he wouldn't see her blush. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt him snake his arms around her waist. The song was slow, it was one of those love songs and awkwardly, they swayed with the beat of the music and danced. Apparently, neither of them were amazing dancers.

He kept his eyes locked on her while they danced on the dance floor that was littered with dead bodies. He had soft brown eyes and to Lu, it was possibly the less intimidating part of his features. The longer she looked into his eyes, the more she realised that his eyes weren't purely brown as they had specks of green on them.

"Guess what?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"What?" dazed, she asked. For a moment there, she had momentarily forgotten that the world has ended and the undead roamed the streets as they danced. For a while there, she thought everything was back to normal and that she was just enjoying a typical day at the bar with a charming man.

"There's clearly electricity in this side of the city," Negan pointed out, "we can move here, in this tavern."

She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms a little tighter around his neck. With a sigh, she pressed her head against his chest and listened to the sound of his heart beating fast. "I like living in your apartment," she told him, "it has become our sanctuary and I'm not ready to leave that."

He tightened his arms around her as he lowered his lips to press a kiss at the top of her head. It was a bold move from him and although he tends to make the bold moves between the two of them, he had never done anything as bold before. By the sound of his fast heart beats, she knew he was nervous to initiate the act but she relaxed in his arms, informing him that she enjoyed it. "We have to leave it at some point," Negan reminded her.

"I know," Lu looked up at him with a small sad smile, "I know we do but right now, we don't so let's just enjoy living in the present and worry about the future some other time, okay?"

"Christ, there's no fucking need for you to get bossy, little lady," he exclaimed jokingly, earning a giggle from her.

The song that has been playing ended and was replaced by a different song. She recognised the song almost instantly. "Are you going to kiss me?" she finally asked him impatiently. They have been looking at each other for several seconds and she was getting a little sick of waiting for something to happen.

Negan laughed. "Do you want me to?"

"I was obviously lying when I told you I don't have a crush on you," she murmured, cupping his cheeks with her hands. "I've had a crush on you since the day I first saw the Impala. I was hoping you'd help me but Paul approached me first. I asked him about you and whether you were single. He told me you weren't interested," she confessed, Negan was surprised by this revelation. Who knew he had a secret admirer. He cursed his co-worker, Paul for not telling him anything about it.

"Well, I fucking am now," he grumbled before he lowered his head and his lips met hers. They shared their first kiss in the gloomy tavern, surrounded by the dead and the smell of death as the jukebox played, 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' and nothing else around them mattered at that very moment.

* * *

If someone told Negan that he would be attracted to some short, baby-faced woman who liked to dress herself in oversized clothing that hid the figure of her body, who walked a bit like a tomboy and knew more about a car's mechanism than how to remove bloodstains off clothes without bleach, he would've laughed. For several decades, Negan was satisfied jumping from one woman to another. He never committed himself to any relationship after the failure of his first and only marriage and since then, women to him were just objects he could admire, fuck and ask to do his laundry and cook his meals. The women he would screw around with were nothing like Lu.

Although she made it clear that she had feelings for him during that afternoon in the tavern some days ago, things between them haven't really changed much since then. There was no development or whatsoever. Somehow, Negan was a little glad about it. He was relieved that he hasn't been able to screw her yet although he wanted to because a little part of him knew that once he has, things will only go downhill and he was basing that assumption on his own experiences with the women of his past. Lu may be a different type of woman but she was still a woman and Negan tend to treat them all like some sort of disposable tool.

Negan woke up by himself in his king-sized bed, covered in sweat. He sat up and looked around, his vision was a little hazy and his head was hurting. He was never the sickly sort so when he woke up that morning with his head pounding and his temperature soaring, he was irritated with himself. He cannot afford to be sick in the new world they lived in. He got up from the bed and trudged to the kitchen where he found Lu who was unaware of his presence as she busied herself making candles out of crayons. She was humming softly to herself while engaged with the chore. Negan had never heard a sound so soothing before that he decided not to interrupt her with his presence. However, just around the same time, she turned around only to be caught off guard to see him standing a few steps away.

"You look like shit," was the first comment that came out of her mouth.

"Thanks for the compliment, baby." Negan laughed. "Is my potty mouth rubbing off on you?" he wondered out loud, she blushed.

"I'm serious, Negan. You look really sick," she claimed, clearly, she wasn't in the mood to joke around. Worry marred her features as she abandoned her makeshift candles to check on him. A few minutes later and Negan found himself forced to lie back down on the bed as Lu retrieved the thermometer from his mouth. She looked at it then she looked at him with concern.

"You have a fever," she announced.

"I'm going to turn into a roamer and fucking devour you," he managed to make a joke out of his situation. Lu rolled her eyes even though she was tempted to laugh.

"I'm going to go check if there are any medicine," she began. She was beginning to regret the fact that they were walking past a pharmacy during their last run for supplies and they didn't even stop to gather some medicine because for them, food was more important.

"I have some in the medicine cabinet but it's not fucking much," Negan informed her, stopping her in her tracks.

"Seriously, you're burning with fever, you're weak and you still have the strength to cuss?" she shook her head and chuckled to herself.

"It's one of the things you love about me baby, just fucking admit that you think it's hot," he called after her as she disappeared out of the room. He could hear her voice from the bathroom as she yelled out that she loved nothing about him, claiming that there was a difference between liking someone and loving someone.

Several minutes later and Lu returned with some medicine and a glass of water for Negan. He was half asleep when she woke him up to make him drink the medicine she found. He felt weak but he didn't make it too obvious to her. He didn't want to appear like a sissy in front of her. He also didn't want her to worry although she already was.

"There isn't much medicine for your fever left, maybe it's best if I leave and get some from that pharmacy we walked past the other day," she began. Negan immediately cracked his eyes open and looked at her sternly.

"Hell to the fucking no," he disapproved. His sudden reaction stunned her. "You are not leaving this fucking place by yourself for some goddamn medicine. Do you understand me, Lu?" he looked at her sternly.

"Negan, you need-…"

"I don't fucking care," he cut her off. "I'll be fucking alright, Lu, it's just a little fever," he assured her as he forced a grin on his face to relieve the sudden tension. "Promise me, Lu that you are not going to fucking leave this goddamn place without me. Don't fucking sneak out as soon as I fall asleep either. Please." He just didn't want her to be in harm's way when he's not around to protect her. She may be daring and strong but Negan can't stomach the idea that she would come across some sort of danger and get herself hurt when he's not around to prevent it from happening. Lu knew and understood what he felt because she felt the same for him, she wouldn't want him facing the world outside their sanctuary alone. Her gaze softened.

"I promise I won't," she assured him, "go back to sleep, Negan, I'll be by your side. I won't leave, I promise," she said. He relaxed a little, assured by her words. She would not betray him after all…he knew she wouldn't.

She lay with him for some time, as he grew sleepy by each passing second. She began to sing as song as Negan closed his eyes tiredly. The sound of Lu's soft, soothing, melodic voice singing filled his ears.

"Picture yourself in a boat on a river

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green

Towering over your head

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes

And she's gone

Lucy in the sky with diamonds…"

"You were humming this song earlier," Negan pointed out sleepily. He spoke with his eyes closed and from one glance, it appeared as if he was sleeping soundly. "The shitty jukebox from that old tavern was playing it too," he observed.

"I was named after Lucy," she revealed with a smile, "apparently the radio was playing it while my Dad drove my Mom to the hospital while she was about to give birth to me. Mom thought Lucy was too plain and the Lucy from the song had bad connotations attached to it so she went for Lucille," she recounted as Negan opened his eyes to see her looking down at him with the smile he adored.

"Then you have to fuck things up by wanting to be called an ugly name like Lu instead," he commented. She laughed, mainly at his attempt to humour her despite how sick he was. "Seriously, baby, Lucille has much nicer ring to it during sex."

Lu rolled her eyes. "Well, maybe I'll let you call me Lucille the day I let you have sex with me, which is most likely never," she shot back sassily, "for now, you better get better."

* * *

 **hey guys, sorry for the late update. May is my busy month so I usually forget to do stuff. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.  
A little fun fact: the title of the whole entire story series was meant to be "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" but I was scared I'd get in trouble with fanfiction because of what it means haha**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a REVIEW!**


	6. Cosmopolitan Magazine

**hey everyone!**

 **If you wanna read more Negan FF, check out my other Negan FF if you haven't yet, it's called ' CANDY' and it's a fun little story that i hope you can enjoy :)**

* * *

 **III**

 **'EUPHORIC HEAVEN'**

* * *

A guttural hissing and groaning seem to echo through the quiet street. The street that was once so busy and noisy was now empty and peaceful like never before. Negan watched in amusement as Lu approached the noisy walker with her bat in her hand. She was a feisty little one and somehow, he felt a little sorry for the creature as he watched her bashed its head repetitively with her murder weapon. He listened to the loud smacking sound produced by her bat accompanied by the soft crunch of the creature's skull as it cracked open from her brutal action.

"Christ, calm your fucking tits down," he exclaimed, his voice echoed as he watched Lu continue to crush the dead creature's skull even if it was already dead. "I think it's fucking dead, you can fucking stop now." She swung her bat one last time as Negan laughed in amusement. It seemed that she swung her bat a little too hard and hit the creature too hard because her action resulted in the decapitation of the walker's maimed head. Negan watched it fly across the street. "Are you okay over there, little lady?" he wondered, glancing back at her. She was panting heavily, clearly, bashing a walker to death and decapitating it was hard work.

"Sorry, I got carried away there," she apologised. Negan shrugged his shoulders. He understood her violent nature towards the walking corpses that plagued the streets. He knew that she gets some sort of satisfaction whenever she would slay them because one way or another, every death of the monsters that roamed the streets avenged her family's death.

"No fucking problem," grinned Negan, "as long as you don't bash my fucking head with that baseball bat when I'm asleep, I have no fucking problem." She giggled, the sound of her sweet laughter filled his ears.

"Of course I'll never do that," she giggled.

A week after his nasty fever and they were back to their typical activity which included searching for supplies to replenish their depleting stock. They didn't find much and Negan knew that it was only going to get worse. He drove back to his apartment or as Lu tends to call it, their sanctuary. During the journey back, he noticed that she was fairly quiet and when he gave her a quick glance, he noticed that she was busy reading a magazine she found from one of the empty houses they ransacked.

"What's that?" he asked he asked as he snatched the magazine from her hands.

"Negan!"

He glanced down at the magazine, taking his eyes away from the road. It was one of those women's magazine riddled with relationship advice. "Oho! What in the world is going on here?" he exclaimed as he scanned the page she had been reading.

"Negan! Get your eyes back on the road!" she exclaimed as she tried to snatch it back to him but Negan held the magazine with an iron grip.

"Relax, baby, the road is fucking empty," he laughed as he relocated the magazine in front of him. "Fuckity fuck, what in the world do we have here!" he exclaimed, cackling to himself as Lu buried her face in her hands. Negan glanced at her then at the road before turning his attention back to the magazine when he noted that the road was still clear. "Ten signs that he's totally into you," he read the title of the page she'd been reading. Negan turned to another page while attempting to contain the laughter that bubbled inside him. "Spice up your relationship with these ten sex positions," he continued to read, much to her mortification. He cackled as he turned to quickly glance at Lu. He saw her squirming in her seat with her face buried in her hands, dying from embarrassment.

"Stop!" red-faced, Lu gained the courage to yank the magazine from his hands, taking him by surprise. She shut the magazine and shove it back to her bag. "You are so mean," she exclaimed, referring to his playful action as 'mean' only made Negan laugh.

"Lighten up, kid!" he laughed, momentarily forgetting that she hated it when he referred to her as a kid. "It's not like I fucking caught you masturbating, it's not a fucking big deal."

She looked at him in mortification. "That comparison is totally irrelevant, Negan-…"

"What? I don't see anything wrong with fucking masturbating," he retorted.

"You are so gross!" she exclaimed, covering her ears with her hands.

Negan simply laughed. "I'm not going to fucking lie, I haven't gotten laid for months so a man's gotta do what a man's gotta fucking do and empty his load daily-…"

"Stop, please, I think I heard enough," she reached to cover his mouth with her hand and that was what she did to silence him for the rest of the journey home.

When they arrived home or their sanctuary as she liked to call it, Lu went straight to the bathroom which to Negan was a normal routine of hers. He noticed from early on that she liked to have a shower as soon as they arrive home after encountering walkers. He guessed it was her attempt to clean herself up and rid of any blood that wasn't hers. He busied himself unloading the stuff they scavenged. When Lu finished, she proceeded to empty the contents of her bag while Negan relentlessly teased her about the magazine she was reading earlier. It was something she had to put up with since she started living with him, the fact that he liked to tease her about anything from her height to her oversized clothes and now he found a new thing to tease her about. If she didn't like him, she would've considered him a bully who didn't seem to know when to stop.

"Here," she removed the last item from her bag and handed it to him. "Go and shave or something, at least do something more productive than spending the rest of your day teasing me."

Negan took the razors as he turned to look at his reflection from the back of a spoon. "Okay little boss, I'll leave you and your magazine," he grinned before leaving her alone in the kitchen. Lu sighed to herself. At least his teasing and almost childish nature for that matter made everything a little more cheerful. It certainly didn't feel very lonely when his vivacious presence is around.

A few minutes later and Lu was stopped from rearranging the canned beans when Negan walked into the kitchen, clean-shaven and clad merely in his sweatpants. "Can you give me a haircut?" he asked her. Lu tried not to smile so wide.

"Okay," she replied. It was certainly amusing that just a few minutes ago, he was relentlessly teasing her like some immature bully and now, he was asking her to give him a haircut like a helpless little boy. She followed him to the bathroom and prepared to give him a haircut.

"Don't you fucking make me bald," he told her before she could snip a single strand of his hair.

"That would be funny," she giggled.

"Do you think it would make me look hotter?" cockily, he asked. Lu blushed and flicked his ear.

"You were never hot in the first place."

"Rude fucking woman," he muttered.

She busied herself giving his hair a trim for the next several minutes that followed. She was careful and did the task meticulously. She had cut people's hair before, including her own and Lu liked to think that she was fairly good at it. Soon, the tiled floor of the bathroom was mostly covered with Negan's hair. He was fairly quiet the whole time, which was a surprise given that Lu was used to him being the talkative one between the two of them. She guessed that he kept himself quiet in case any of his teasing finally annoyed her and she had the advantage to make him bald as revenge.

When she announced that she had finished, he got up from his seat quickly and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He seemed relieved. Lu, behind him, simply indulged the view of his broad, bare back, her green eyes noticed the light freckles that dusted his upper back and as her gaze travelled downwards, she noticed the dimples on his lower back.

"So you told me that I wasn't fucking hot but you're clearly checking my fucking ass out," Negan, who had caught where her gaze was through the reflection on the mirror spoke cockily. Lu, a little mortified, looked at him.

"Well, I was just stating some facts," she retorted as she turned to leave, "you're not hot, you're a sexy silverfox," he heard her say as she disappeared out of the bathroom, clearly, she did not intend for him hearing the last parts of her sentence but he did and he was left standing in the bathroom with a foolish smile on his face. "…you have the cutest dimples that should be illegal, perfectly straight teeth that are totally annoying, you're so intimidatingly tall that it's annoying hot and that taut ass-…" he sentence was cut off short, replaced by a squeal as Negan pinned her against the fridge.

"Give me a fucking break, resisting you is just as fucking hard," he groaned as he leaned against her ear. Lu quivered as she felt his hot breath against the curve of her neck. "Do you know what I do when I unload my motherfucking man juice?" huskily, he asked against her ear, "I think about you, you and your fucking pussy."

"You're so dirty that even a gallon of holy water can't clean your mouth," she chuckled shakily, attempting to show him that his words had no effect on her whatsoever even though her heart was hammering so hard against her chest.

Negan laughed as he withdrew his face from her neck to look at her face. "Who fucking cares, with the state that we're living in right fucking now, we're already in hell," he laughed. Lu reached to cup his cheeks with her hands and felt the smoothness of his face without his beard. Gently, she pulled him close to her until their lips touched.

It didn't take very long before beads of sweat were rolling down on both their foreheads as they breathed heavily, their taste lingered on each other's mouth. Lu's oversized, grey t-shirt now lay discarded on the kitchen floor and for the first time ever, Negan was able to see what she had been hiding behind her oversized, tomboyish clothing. He whistled appreciatively as she looked up at him with her face a bright shade of red. His assumption that she had a pubescent boy's body behind her oversized shirt was totally wrong. She had a woman's body…a perfect body as far as Negan was concerned.

Hastily, he rid of the rest of her clothes until finally, her black, cotton panties followed the rest of her clothing in the pile. "Fuckity fuck, I've hit the fucking jackpot," he exclaimed as Lu blushed deeply.

"W-Why are you looking at me like that?" shakily, she asked him.

Negan closed the gap between them with one big step. "Is it a fucking crime all of the sudden to admire the most beautiful woman I've ever fucking seen?" he shot back. She blushed harder, if that was even possible. He prevented her from coming up with some witty reply to his compliment by kissing her. He pressed his lips against hers gently at first as his hands snaked around her waist. "Now should we try those sex positions from your magazine?" he broke the kiss to ask her his burning question. She saw the twinkle in his eyes as Negan took note of how red her cheeks had gotten.

"Don't you need Viagra or something before we start," Lu wondered out loud playfully.

He picked her up and carried her over his shoulder like a sack of potato to the direction of his bedroom. "I might be fucking old but I'm not that old," exclaimed Negan, "I don't need that fucking shit."

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **Anyway, I feel like I'm asking too much but I hope you can take a few seconds of your day to drop a quick REVIEW after reading the story just to let me know how you're feeling about the story so far, I always like reading what other people think :) and if you're not following yet, don't forget to FOLLOW to so you can be updated**

 **thanks guys :)**


	7. Blossoming Orchid

**hey guys, thanks so much for the lovely REVIEWS. I loved reading them, they're very motivational :)**

 **Also, I might be gone for a little while and therefore, updates might be a little delayed. My exams are coming and I desperately need to pass this semester so no procrastinating allowed for me while I study. I'm really sorry in advance but don't worry, I'll be back eventually :D**

 **here's a fresh new chapter and I hope you will enjoy it**

* * *

 **III**

 **'EUPHORIC HEAVEN'**

* * *

A bright sunrise started the day. When Negan woke up, he was surrounded by the familiar scent of Lu's apple shampoo accompanied by his own musky scent. Unaware that he had woken up, he noticed that she was occupied reading something on her lap as she sat next to him on the bed that they started sharing.

"Are you reading more of those magazines?" sleepily, he wondered out loud, instantly earning her attention. She turned to look at him and during the past couple of weeks that he had been waking up next to her in bed, he had memorised every detail of her face and her body. He knew that her cheeks were much rosier first thing in the morning than they normally were and her frizzy, dark hair would be surprisingly tamed early in the morning than it normally would be later in the day. He knew that she had a small birthmark roughly the shape of Alaska on her left hip and a mole between her breasts.

"No," she replied by showing him the magazine that she had been reading. It was a wedding magazine.

"Why the fuck do you waste your time looking at that?" he wondered out loud as he lay back down on the bed. If the world hasn't ended and everything was normal, Negan would've panicked the moment he saw her flicking through a wedding magazine. However, it was not the fact that the world has ended and marriage would be the last thing people would think about in their current world that made him surprisingly calm, it was the fact that he didn't mind. He was almost sure that if Lu was another woman, he'd drop her almost instantly as soon as he learned that she was fantasising about a wedding but it was Lu and she was different.

"I'm just browsing, it's not like I'm going to get married," she explained when she noticed that he had gone quiet.

"You never fucking know, what if I ask you to marry me right now?" Negan shot back but she only laughed.

"Yeah right," she chuckled as she put her magazine aside and got up from bed. Negan's eyes scanned her naked form appreciatively as she picked up the clothes scattered on the floor. "You can ask me that question again when you're actually serious. Who knows, I might give you answer," she told him while she got dressed. Negan didn't say anything anymore as she disappeared out of the room, dressed in his shirt.

Curiously, he picked up the wedding magazine that kept her entertained for some time. Intrigued, he flicked through the pages. The pages consisted mostly of women dressed in big, elaborate and expensive looking wedding dresses. Negan began to imagine what Lu would look like wearing some of the dresses but he only shook his head and chuckled to himself. He cannot picture her wearing any of the fancy dresses. It wasn't because she didn't deserve to wear them but because she was too good for them. He found it almost weird that not very long ago, women actually worried about their wedding dresses because in the new world they now lived in, the only thing that mattered was survival.

* * *

Typically, the shopping centre downtown would be packed and crowded during the day but that was before the world ended. It was almost odd how quiet and gloomy it had become when Lu and Negan stepped inside the place that stunk like decaying corpses and mould. "Keep your fucking eyes peeled, Lu," whispered Negan as they stuck close to each other. The mall was too big to do a perimeter check which they often do so they followed their plan and made their way to the stores that they have strategically planned to enter.

The mall was not only littered with mess left behind by the chaos and turmoil that the outbreak brought, thick layers of dust and vermin has settled in the vicinity and deceased, decaying bodies of people who must've suffered a miserable death whether as walkers or humans lay on their final resting place in the desolate shopping centre. They followed the plan and entered certain shops to gather what was left to scavenge. For several minutes, they had been fairly successful given that they haven't encountered any sort of danger.

"Negan," the sound of Lu's voice in the eerily quiet store earned Negan's attention. Assuming she was in trouble, Negan abandoned what he was doing and followed her voice. Immediately, he found her behind the counter of the store, admiring something. "Look! Quick!" she ushered him to come close.

He approached her quietly and realised that the whole time, she had been admiring a single blossoming orchid flower. The flower looked as if it just newly sprouted and it was the colour of fresh snow with specks of fuchsia and purple. "So?" unimpressed, he turned to look at her, demanding an explanation why she called him over all the way from the other side of the store to show him some flower.

She rolled her eyes at him. "It's the first blooming flower I've seen since…" her voice trailed off, unable to finish her sentence, unable to say it out loud that the world has ended. "Anyway, I thought I'd show you. It's very pretty."

Negan chuckled. Only Lu would look at a flower that for some reason, bloomed after months of neglect in a mall that stunk like death, and see the bright side about it. Negan plucked the flower, much to her shock but her upcoming protest was silenced when he tucked the flower behind her ear. "Now it looks fucking perfect," he grinned as her cheeks turned a bright shade of red. He chuckled to himself as he leaned in for a kiss.

They made their way to the store next door after that, it was a small hardware store. Once they were certain that it was safe inside, they split up to fill their bags with whatever items they can find. Negan's duffle bag was close to full but he emptied the shelf that contained a few packs of batteries. He moved to the next aisle, his bag was already heavy but he carried it with very little trouble.

"Don't fucking move," immediately, he stopped in his tracks as he came face to face with a woman he had never seen in his life before. She had her gun pointed towards him, ready to pull the trigger and blow his brains off. "Hand me over your stuff," she demanded.

Negan saw a figure behind the woman. "Alright, it's all fucking yours," he muttered as he prepared to hand her over the heavy duffle bag. He counted to three in his head and when he got to two, he heard a loud smack followed by a thud. He looked at Lu who stood looking down at the body of the woman she had knocked unconscious with the back of her bat.

"Are you okay?" concern marred her features but Negan didn't notice it. What he noticed was the figure he didn't see before that was behind her. His ears rang as the sound of gunfire echoed in the quiet place.

Lu's grip on her bat loosened as it fell on the ground and her body soon followed, collapsing on top of the body of the woman she had knocked unconscious just a few seconds ago. She felt pain, sharp, unbearable, throbbing pain. It was uncomfortable but above all, it was agonisingly painful. Her ears were still ringing from the gunshot and as a result, she barely heard the second one. The second gunshot only made the ringing worse as her eyes watered from the pain and her head began to spin.

"Motherfucking dick sucking fucking cunt," as her vision began to decline, she heard a very familiar voice. "…fuck. Fuck! FUCK!" it was getting dark but she managed to find the will to smile in relief. He was okay, he was cussing and well, he was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Lu! Lucille! Baby," Negan shook her motionless body almost violently. There was no response.

"Fucking hell, Lucille, mother fucking hell…" those were the last words she heard before everything finally turned black and Lu was no longer able to hear his voice or feel his arms around her.

* * *

 **So what do you guys think? Don't forget to drop a REVIEW to let me know :)  
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	8. Survival of the Fittest

**hey guys, sorry for the long wait but here's a chapter for you all**

 **i hope you guys will enjoy it and don't forget to let me know what you think after :)**

* * *

 **III**

 **'EUPHORIC HEAVEN'**

* * *

A mason jar filled with colourful, melted crayons that now functioned as a makeshift candle that burned brightly in the darkness. There were several of them scattered around the room and all their lights combined illuminated the dark room. On the dining table lay a motionless body, it was Lu's. She was lying face down on the table, dressed only in her jeans and boots as her oversized t-shirt and jacket lay discarded on the floor, stained with her own blood. Next to her body stood Negan who had been spending the past hour attempting to meticulously pluck out the bullet buried beneath her flesh.

"Fuckity fuck fuck," he muttered to himself as he put the tweezers aside, unsuccessful once again. The bullet was too deep but then at the same time, he'd been treating her as if he was operating on a baby, slowly, gently and delicately and it was not working in his favour. He removed the third latex gloves he'd used during the past hour as more profanities left his mouth. He dumbed the gloves with the other bloody gloves before he proceeded to slip on fresh, clean ones. He was lucky that he manage to find some latex gloves under his sink, in fact, he was lucky to even find some. He wasn't so lucky in terms of finding some type of anaesthetics. Gently, he patted her naked back with a damp washcloth, cleaning the blood off her back. She was bleeding too much and it was slowly frightening Negan.

A groan escaped her lips, interrupting the silence that filled the entire apartment. Negan froze, his heart hammered hard and fast against his chest. "Lucille," he called her softly, his tone was softer than normal. He heard her sniff and he watched in great relief as her eyes fluttered open a few seconds later. Her kaleidoscope green eyes grew wide with surprise as she tried to roll over but Negan stopped her before she could.

"I know it's fucking uncomfortable, baby, but I just need to take out the motherfucking bullet, alright?" he told her softly.

"Okay," her response was shaky and it came out as a whisper.

"I don't have any morphine for you, baby, I'm sorry," he told her, he was truly sorry. He watched her squirm, it was clear that she was beginning to feel the pain as soon as she regained consciousness.

Negan thought that he would feel nothing else but relief once she had woken up but he realised that seeing her awake and in pain only made him feel worse. He cursed the asshole who shot her and as result, had put her in her misery for the 50th time that hour. "It's okay, baby, I'll take care of you," he assured her. He didn't even notice that he had stopped cussing as he tried to make her think that everything was going to be okay.

He turned his attention to the task before him. She was still bleeding and he could only see the metal deep beneath her skin just faintly. She moved her hand and found his arm, Negan felt her fingers wrap around his left arm. He let her hold him in hopes that it would make her feel better even if he knew that it won't make the pain go away…he wished it would though.

Although she knew that she shouldn't, she found herself quietly crying for the next several minutes that followed. The throbbing pain from her wound had spread. She tried not to move too much and held back her sobs as tears streamed down her cheeks. Negan was being as gentle as he can ever be. He had never been so gentle in his life before. His gloves were now stained with her blood and the tweezers had become slippery to hold but he went on, he was determined to take that bullet out once and for all this time.

He didn't hear her complain or whine, not even once during the entire process. She was quiet the whole time but he knew that she was in agony. Her grip on his arm grew tighter and tighter the more pain she felt until Negan could feel her nails digging hard into his flesh. "It's okay," he assured her over and over again. Somehow, he was also assuring himself that she was going to be okay.

Finally after almost two agonisingly long and painful hours, Negan got a firm grasp of the bullet. "This is going to hurt but it'll be over after this," he told her. It was his simple warning before he pulled the piece of metal from her flesh. She whimpered and that was all the noise he heard from her that told him that she was suffering. She cried quietly while Negan cleaned her bloody back and covered her wound. The bullet that caused all the problem now lay with the bloody gloves on the side of the table.

"T-Thank you," he heard her hoarse voice speak once he was done.

Negan grinned. "Anything for my baby," he smiled before he picked her up and carried her to their bedroom.

He laid her down on her side of the bed and left her to pick up some shirt from the closet that contained their clothes. He returned to her side briefly and helped her dress quietly. He removed her boots and discarded them on the floor. He noticed immediately that she was wearing a mismatched pair of socks and one of them was his', he didn't say anything simply because whatever he owned was also hers now.

"I know it's fucking stupid to ask how you're feeling because I know you feel shitty but I'll still ask. How are you feeling?" he broke the silence as she looked at him tiredly with a small, weak smile on her face.

"A little better," she assured him although he suspected that she was lying to make him feel better.

He was about to leave her to rest but she stopped him to ask him to stay with her for a few more minutes. Negan settled on his side of the bed and for some time, they lay together with her in his arms. He watched her as she fell fast asleep. If someone told Negan that he would fall in love during the end of the world, he would've laughed. In fact, the very idea that the world would end would've made him laugh even harder. Sure the world was shitty but he never expected that it would turn even shittier. He never believed in love, Negan always thought that his disastrous first marriage made him stop believing in love. He was young, naïve and a fool when he married his ex-wife and in a matter of months, Negan grew sick of her company. He realised after their marriage that he never loved his ex-wife, he was just too blinded by lust. He swore he'd never make that mistake again. As he watched Lu sleep soundly in his arms, he wondered if she was going to be another mistake.

He thought about her spectacular body with her nice, toned legs and lovely, round breasts that fit his hands perfectly. He thought she was attractive in an exotic sort of way with her mesmerising kaleidoscope green eyes and beautiful smile. Not to mention, the sex was funfuckingtastic. Typically, liking all those things proved the fact that Negan only lusted after her. However, he also thought that she was a good companion and perhaps she was one of the handful of people who can tolerate his dirty mouth and understand his sense of humour that people tend to find offensive. She also made the best meals out of their canned goods, he also thought it was amazing and sort of hot how a little woman like herself could independently defend herself from the undead.

Above all, for the first time ever, he realised he truly cared for her. He truly believed that he was going to lose her when he called out her name over and over again back at the hardware store and she was unresponsive. Negan never felt so afraid. It was at that point when he realised that he cared for her, that she meant so much to him than just a hole he could fuck and a body he could admire. For that matter, he truly considered that maybe…just maybe…he had fallen in love with her.

"Negan," the sound of her soft voice ended Negan's thoughts.

Her green eyes were looking at his face until she found his own brown eyes blinking back at her. "Hmm?"

"Did you-…" she paused as if she was unsure what to say. "Did you kill those people?" finally, she asked. She recalled the sound of the second gunshot when she went down after being shot. She worried that it was Negan who had been hit so when she woke up to see that he was perfectly fine, she began to think relentlessly about the victim of the second gunshot while he was busy attempting to remove the bullet from her back. She woke up only to be consumed by the very same thought and finally, she decided to confront him about it.

Negan sat up and rubbed the back of his head with his hand. "I-I have to fucking do it, Lu," he explained.

Lu sat up too and reached to hold his hands, they were big and calloused but also very warm and comforting. "Both of them?" she insisted on knowing.

"Yes."

Although it was fairly dark, Negan saw the glimmer of disappointment flash through her green eyes. He felt almost sick to the stomach to know that he had disappointed her. "Why?"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Lucille!" he exclaimed as he got out of the bed, irked. "I have to fucking kill them because they are a fucking threat. One of them shot you for fuck's sake!" She didn't say anything and just laid back down on the bed. Negan hated that she looked so disappointed. He was just doing what's best for them…for her. "People are fucking cruel, Lu, you have to understand that. The state of this new world, it only made them worse," he explained.

"That's not true," came her quiet protest as she remained lying down on the bed, her back facing him. "The world ended and the dead are alive. We, as the living should stick together, not kill each other. The only things that we should be killing are the walkers who are no longer human, to put them out of their misery," she informed him.

Negan was starting to get frustrated. He always hated arguing with women and their pointless arguments. "Don't you fucking remember what happened back at the hardware store, Lu?" he demanded irritably. "That woman was pointing a gun at me while she demanded for my stuff, my fucking stuff that I worked hard to get. That's a fucking proof that everyone's selfish. That bitch was selfish for wanting my fucking stuff and I was also fucking selfish for wanting to keep it to myself. Now do you see the problem here?" She remained quiet with her back to him. "The problem is that the condition we live in now demands for the survival of the fucking fittest," he explained to her. "Everyone's looking out for themselves and that's what we have to fucking do to survive. The motherfucking undead are not dangerous, they're not a big threat to us. The bigger threat are the selfish humans who are left behind, they'd do anything to survive. They will kill if they have to. We have to fucking do the same to survive, Lu, you and I."

She rolled over and faced him. The sight of her made Negan take a step back. He had seen women cry before but there was something about Lu crying that made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He didn't feel that way the first time he saw her cry for her family but now, as she cried once again, he felt it. Did he made her cry? Who was she crying for? Those questions raced through his mind as he approached her and held her in his arms.

"I just don't want you to be a murderer," she murmured against his chest. "I don't want you to regret the fact that you killed people and realise that it was too late. I don't want you to suffer like that."

He held her tighter in an attempt to contain his shock as he realised that she was crying for him. "Cheer up, kid," he chuckled, hiding his shock and attempting to lighten up the mood. "Alright, I won't kill people anymore," he told her, comforting her, "you're right, we should kill the undead to put them out of their misery."

"Promise me," she looked up at him, her green eyes were bright in the darkness. She was determined to consider the fact that he killed two people as just an act of self-defence and forget all about it.

"I don't make promises, Lu," he clarified. "But I guarantee you that I'll fucking kill for you if I have to."

She sighed to herself. "Then I'll make sure that you don't end up doing something stupid like that again," she assured him but also herself. She didn't want him to lose his humanity not for her or for anyone else.


	9. Expired Chocolates

**III**

 **'EUPHORIC HEAVEN'**

* * *

The seasons changed and the number of the walking corpses increased, the city was gloomier than ever before. Lu and Negan's runs had been fruitless lately. There were no places to gather any supplies from anymore. They have either taken all of them or the different groups and settlements of people like them have. Quicker than anticipated, the time for them to leave their sanctuary has come.

The apartment that was Negan's home for more than two decades looked lonely. Towels, old blankets and bed sheets draped over the furniture and most of the appliance. Lu was responsible for it. It was as if they would come back to the place that Lu tends to refer to as their sanctuary sometime in the future. She had spent the night before organising the things that they would leave behind in boxes and plastic containers that Negan had lying around in his garage. She labelled them meticulously, from 'cutleries' to 'Negan's DVD collection' as if they would return and unpack everything one day. He didn't stop her from doing such pointless chore, although, he knew deep down that they would never return. He also knew that she was hesitant to leave, in fact, she didn't want to leave but they can no longer stay.

Lu was dressed in one of her oversized, printed T-shirts, some faded jeans, her dirty boots with one of Negan's checked shirt tied around her waist when she stepped out of their bedroom. She kept her stubborn, frizzy brown hair clear from her face by tying it back in a braid and Negan noticed that she wore her tool belt around her waist today. Recently, she remodelled an old tool belt of hers that she would use back in the mechanic and rather than filling it with tools like how it was made to, she had filled hers with all sorts of essential items from matches to bullets.

"I don't really want to leave this place, Negan," she murmured quietly. "This is our sanctuary and it kept us safe and protected for a very long time."

His gaze softened as he looked at the sad looking woman standing in the middle of the living room. "We'll find one that's going to be even better," he assured her.

"I hope so," she murmured. "Maybe we can find a place where we can take other people in," she began to fantasise out loud as she looked around, memorising every little detail of the place. "We can take the weaker people in, the outcasts, the vulnerable and we'll offer them our sanctuary so that they would feel safe and protected."

"Why would we do that? Are we running a motherfucking charity now?" Negan wondered out loud. She turned to look at him with her hands on her hips as she rolled her eyes at his way of thinking.

"It is our responsibility as the living to make sure the population of the dead doesn't increase any more, Negan," she clarified. "It's not very nice to let the weak perish while the fittest survive because by the end of the day, the weak will turn into the same monsters that the fittest were trying to keep themselves safe from in the first place."

"But these people are going to be dead weight! Tell me one fucking way that they can contribute and help? By the end of the fucking day, they're going to drag us down if we fucking help them. They will get us all killed," Negan pointed out. Sometimes, she was too kind and still too innocent for her own good.

"I don't know," Lu shrugged, "maybe they can provide other forms of services or share a portion of what they have, like their supplies and in return, we'll provide them a sanctuary where they are protected from danger," she blurted the first idea that came to her mind before she inched closer to him and inhaled his scent.

"Let's not get fucking ahead of ourselves, alright?" finally, he declared. He walked towards her and pressed a kiss on top of her head. Lu's little idea stayed at the back of his head, for future use. "We should go."

She sighed and looked around the place she learned to call home for the last time. Although she hoped to return, a voice at the back of her head told her she would never see the place ever again. The place was very dear to her. It was a sanctuary. It was the place that kept her alive for months. It was the place where she got to know Negan and they shared plenty of memories during the time they lived together in it.

"Okay, I'm ready," she sighed to herself and forced a smile on her face as she looked up at him.

"Atta girl," smiled Negan, patting her shoulder.

His eyes followed her as she went to fetch her baseball bat from the coffee table. She looked around one last time before she followed Negan to the door. Together, they stepped out of the place she will always call their sanctuary.

The back of Negan's truck had been loaded with the items that they can take and help them survive during their perilous journey to search for a new home, a new sanctuary. They had agreed to leave the urban area and move to a rural area where there were fewer people, which meant that there would also be fewer undead roaming about. Negan and Lu also agreed that a renewable source of food would help reduce the need for them to go out on runs to search for food so farming was a possibility.

"Are you still sure that you're going to be taking your bike?" Lu asked for the last time that morning. They have arranged their form of transport beforehand. She would take the truck while he'd ride his motorcycle and lead the journey with her trailing behind him.

"It's better if that way," Negan repeated for the last time. "I can scout ahead if I need to. Don't worry baby, I'll be fine, just don't miss me too fucking much," he lightened up the mood by being playful, although he was equally worried to be separated from her for a few metres. He trusted her though and he knew that she was a brave and strong woman who was capable of kicking ass without his help.

"Be careful, I'll be right behind you," she got on her tippy toes and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek.

* * *

Riding his motorcycle, Negan led the way by just a metre or so ahead of Lu who trailed closely behind. They were both unaware of what was waiting for them outside the comforts of the vicinity that they have gotten used to during the past several months. They were just two people in search of a new home, a new place they can call their sanctuary. The sun shone brightly above and the road was littered with abandoned vehicles riddled with dust and dirt as well as trash and in a few occasions, decaying bodies.

Several minutes passed until they finally left the vicinity. The open highway welcomed them. Just like the road they have travelled so far, it was plagued with cars abandoned in the midst of the turmoil. Whatever happened to their owners, they can only wonder. Perhaps they were now a rotting body that roamed the streets or maybe they were just like them, fleeing in search for a home. Ahead of her, Lu noticed Negan slowing down, prompting her to do the same. There was a vehicle that blocked the road and they have to go around it to continue. Initially, he was not going to stop, he was going to avoid the problem but he stopped for the same reason that Lu suddenly put the truck's gear on park.

He watched as she ran to the vehicle that she purchased from him almost a year ago after spending many years of her life saving for it. Her precious Impala was very recognisable despite the thick layer of dust that covered it. Its black paint was faded from being neglected and being exposed out in the elements for so long and the once shiny, chrome colours that outlined its exterior was now riddled with rust.

"She was stolen," he heard Lu declare a few moments later. She didn't cry nor whine about the fact that her beloved vehicle was not only stolen but left in a terrible condition. Instead, he watched as she did what anyone in their predicament would do, she searched the car for anything that they could use for their own benefits.

"Someone's already looted her inside out," she declared when she left the vehicle after a fruitless search. The gas tank had been emptied, any useful items owned by the thief were gone and even the car battery had been taken.

"I told you she's a piece of shit car," Negan declared as he got back on his bike. "If you bought that Beetle I recommended, no one would've stolen it," he mused as she playfully smacked his arm on her way back to the truck.

They're journey continued. It went one for days. During the days that followed, they learned to sleep less and when they slept, they learned to keep themselves alert of their surroundings. They slept anywhere they can, from an empty office to the back of Negan's truck while they were parked in an abandoned garage that smelled like mould. The trip was long and at times boring. Negan, who was the quickest to get bored between the two of them would ride his bike alongside her at times so that he could talk to her and keep himself entertained.

On their 4th day travelling, Negan and Lu stayed the night at a honeymoon hotel. He thought it was a brilliant idea even though they had to kill a few walkers while Negan picked the nicest room. One thing she liked about the hotel was the fact that the vending machine was still intact and untouched and Lu emptied it. For the first time in months, she was about to have some chocolate.

"Want some?" she offered him some of her chocolate for dessert that night as they sat on the large, heart-shaped bed, having dinner and reviewing their route for the next morning on the map.

"That looks fucking disgusting," Negan commented, nodding at the bar of soft, half melted chocolate she was eating. "Did you check the expiry date because that shit looks fucking nasty."

She rolled her eyes at him. More for her, she thought. "It tastes a little odd but it still tastes like chocolate. If you don't want any, at least be nice about it," she remarked. "I bet you'd still kiss me anyway even if you have to taste it in my mouth," she added teasingly.

Negan looked up from his map and grinned at her. "Don't fucking tease me, you know I will."

The following day, Negan woke up naked and alone in the heart-shaped bed with Lu nowhere in sight. He didn't even bother getting dressed as he jumped out of bed to search for her. He saw her in the bathroom, clad merely in her underwear, puking on the toilet. Negan sighed to himself as he approached her and gathered her hair.

"I told you that fucking chocolate you had been eating was expired," he grumbled.

She did not get any better for the next hours that followed. They had to pull over twice just so that she could vomit on the side of the road. When they stopped for a third time, Negan had enough. He threw the rest of her chocolates on the side of the road, loaded his bike into the back of the truck and took over the truck as she sat sickly and weak on the passenger seat. He hoped that she would get better the next day.

He expected her body to cure itself but a couple of days had passed and she would still vomit almost thrice a day. "Negan," she poked his arm as he sped through the empty road.

"Do you need to throw up again?"

"Pull over if you find any pharmacy, okay?" she asked.

He grew curious. "Why?"

"Just do it, please."

He kept his eyes peeled as she slept soundly on the passenger seat. He assumed that she wanted to find some sort of medicine to stop her vomiting and it motivated him to actually search for any pharmacy. For miles and miles, there was nothing but the plain sight of the countryside and Negan knew that the next town was many miles away.

Early in the afternoon, Lu woke up from the sound of his voice as he gently shook her shoulders. "I found a pharmacy," he declared, "but it looks like it doesn't have fucking much."

She got out of the truck and followed him with her baseball bat in her hand. Negan led the way, apparently, he did the cleaning up while she was asleep in the car. Five, freshly killed walkers were piled up in the corner of the store and she spotted it immediately as soon as they stepped inside.

"Do you know what you're looking for?" he asked.

They didn't have to search too long before she spotted the item she needed in abundance. She approached the shelf that contained it. The item was one the few items that the people who had looted the place previously had ignored. Lu picked up one of the boxes stacked on the shelf as Negan stood behind her quietly.

"I'll be back," she told him as she left his speechless form behind.

Negan waited patiently and stood where she had left him, completely frozen. He had no idea how long had passed until she finally returned with an object in her hand. She stopped in front of him and handed it over.

"I'm pregnant," she told him as Negan looked down at the object he had taken from her hand. His eyes stared at the two lines indicating that she was indeed pregnant.

* * *

 **i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**

 **please don't forget to drop a** **REVIEW** **and let me know what you think about this chapter :)**


	10. The Diner

**hey guys, i apologise if i have been updating really late recently. i'm currently on my semester break and i've been pretty lazy. i had a really stressful and busy semester so i guess i just really wanna spend this break doing absolutely nothing, not even editing and publishing my drafts**

 **anyways, here's a fresh new chapter. i wanna finish this story soon so i've been publishing more chapters of this story in comparison to my other Negan story. This chapter is really short but DW i swear i'll update again in a couple of days, I pinky swear :D**

 **i hope you guys will enjoy it and don't forget to drop a review to let me know what you think :)**

* * *

 **III**

 **'EUPHORIC HEAVEN'**

* * *

Negan glanced at the passenger side of the truck as he drove through the desolate road. She sat quietly with her knees to her chest, she wore his black leather jacket that bore his familiar scent and in her hand was the pregnancy test stick that kept her occupied most days. Often, he would see her staring at it with a little smile on her face. In a way, Negan knew it was stupid and almost cruel that they were going to bring up a child into the new world where everything was worse than it was ever before. At the same time, he was just as happy as her as soon as he learned the news. He was going to be a father. For years, his ex-wife deprived him of the opportunity to be a father. She would always say that he will never be a fit father since he can't even take care of her. However, he was no longer the Negan his ex-wife married. In fact, he was not the same Negan from a few months ago when he first met Lu. He was a new man and this new Negan was ready to be a father. The baby was a symbol of hope. The fact that something beautiful and pure would arrive in several months was a symbol that the world wasn't in the state of decay that he had always believed it was. The world was still thriving.

"Do you think we're having a boy or a girl?" she turned to look at him her hand reaching for his' that were on the steering wheel.

"Shit, Lu, hold your fucking horses," Negan chuckled. "We just found out a few days ago."

She blushed as she chewed on the cuticle of her thumb. "Do you regret it?" she wondered out loud as she removed her hand that was resting on top of his'. He glanced at her quickly and noticed that she was looking ahead at the desolate path.

"No. Do you?" Negan replied.

She turned her gaze away from the road ahead when she felt him relocate one of his hands on her lap. "Never," she smiled and she reached down to hold his hand once again.

A few hours later and they stopped in the small diner after concluding that they would stay there for the night. The sun hasn't set yet and Negan would always make sure that they find shelter before nightfall. If there was one thing Negan wished she would do since the pregnancy, it's was to let him handle everything himself. However, Lu, being the independent woman that she was refused to sit around and let him do the work. He watched, unimpressed, as she helped him clear the diner, knocking down the horrendous looking walkers with her baseball bat covered in barbed wire before hitting them with the final blow once they were on the ground. He often feared that she would endanger herself even before the pregnancy. He knew she was strong and independent but a little part of Negan almost wished she would be a little more dependent on him. He truly felt like a little pussy as he watched her take down entirely all the walkers in the diner with very little help from him.

"That's makes seven for me today and three kills for you," she pointed out rather cockily. Negan simply laughed to show her that it didn't affect him although the fact that she often killed more of the undead than him always left his ego heavily bruised.

She turned to look at him to tease him some more when her smile faltered at the sight of a group of heavily armed men that stepped inside the diner. Negan, who took note of her frozen form and the direction she was gazing at, turned to look over his shoulder, a curse escaped his lips as he cupped his gun.

"Don't move, asshole," one of the armed men spotted where Negan's hand was, "I'll blow your girl's pretty head off if you don't drop that gun, I know you're holding it right now," he grinned.

A series of colorful words escaped Negan's lips. If he was alone, he would've ignored the threat and acted according to his will but one of the armed men was pointing his gun at Lu. As result, Negan dumped his gun on the ground as the armed men welcomed themselves into the diner by further stepping inside.

Immediately, the one who spoke to Negan approached him and removed the rest of his weapon while a burly man snatched Lu's baseball bat off her hands. "We've been watching you two clean up this place," the man who took Negan's weapons away spoke. He was a scrawny man with the lower half of his face riddled with acne scars. He held what seemed to be a fully loaded AK-47 in his hand. "I gotta say, it was hella impressive, especially her," he claimed, pointing his gun at Lu.

"What the fuck do you fucking want from us, fucktard?" grunted Negan as he glared at the scrawny man.

"Language, watch out your language," chuckled the scrawny man. "You two look like you can be potential members of our group. I'm Danny, the burly Mexican over there is Emilio and the twins are Will and Darcy," he paused as a woman, just as heavily armed as them, stepped inside the diner. "That lady over there is Monica."

"They have lots of stuff in that truck," Monica announced, alerting Lu and Negan who realized that they have snooped through the contents of the truck.

"We have a small settlement of about 50-something people. The rules are simple, your name gets added to the roster and you're given a role and a responsibility. You get to be a part of a community again, it's real nice, I tell you," Danny continued. "So?"

Lu turned to look at Negan, expecting a response to him just like the armed group of people. "I've considered your kind offer," Negan spoke after a minute of pure silence. "I'm thinking of an answer somewhere between no motherfucking way and go fucking fuck yourself," he spat. "Oh and fucking excuse my motherfucking French."

Upon hearing Negan's response, Lu was truly convinced that Negan's potty mouth and ego was going to get them both killed. She was surprised when the other men began to laugh, including Danny who seemed to be the leader. "I like this guy already!" Danny declared.

"Wait," Monica interrupted. She pulled something out of her pocket and flashed it at Negan and Lu. It was the pregnancy test stick that she found in the truck. "We have a doctor, if that will help you two change your minds."

This time, it was Negan who looked at Lu. He knew that Lu would eventually need a doctor. The new world they lived in was harsh and full of obstacles, there were no more hospitals around where he can take her once her water breaks so that she could have a pleasant delivery... that doesn't exist anymore. He pictured the bad things that could happen during the course of her pregnancy without a doctor. He didn't want to lose her or the baby.

"Fine, we'll join your motherfucking group."


	11. Paradiso

**IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL'**

* * *

Danny and his group called their little settlement 'Paradiso' and it was apparently the Italian word for paradise. They brought Negan and Lu to a ranch located next to the rugged woods. During the whole journey to Paradiso, they haven't encountered a single walking corpse. The air was pristine and the surroundings truly looked like paradise. As it turned out, the name of the ranch was Paradiso and Danny told them the history of the place during the journey.

"Some rich Italian owned the ranch and a few of us were workers here before things went down,' recounted Danny, "Ephraim was the boss, he ran the place before all this, you know. Now, he's our leader and he's now your leader too."

Lu and Negan were under the impression that the people of Paradiso had a good life going for them as they noticed the crops and livestock around. Their little settlement was surrounded by a moat, which prevented any walkers, if there was any, from getting into their compound given that they have to swim through deep, murky water. To be able to get in and out, one must cross a bridge that the patrolling guards would lower.

"How long did it take you to dig?" out of curiosity, Lu found herself asking, referring to the moat.

"Oh, we didn't do that. The rich Italian was going to replace the ranch with a castle as a gift for his sugar baby. They started constructions but obviously, shit happened," Danny replied, "anyway, they started digging for the moat so it was already there for us as well as the bridge."

Upon their arrival, one thing Negan and Lu noticed apart from the plentiful sustainable food supplies available were the tents located on the east side of the ranch. According to Danny, it was where everyone lived, everyone in Paradiso lived in tents apart from the leader, Ephraim and the other members of the higher strata of their little dwelling who lived in the large, bricked two-storey house. They took Lu and Negan to Ephraim afterwards, a man in his late 50s dressed like some character from a western novel.

He was a burly elderly man with white, handlebar moustache, a button nose and a round belly. He immediately praised Danny and the others and commented that both Lu and Negan looked like fit individuals and declared that he was very sure that they would fit in perfectly in the community. He told them the rules that Danny has already told them about. He informed them that everyone was given a responsibility in Paradiso and every week, there would be a roster indicating the responsibilities that they were expected to complete until the next roster was made.

They provided Negan and Lu with a tent and a couple of sleeping bags before they left them for the rest of the afternoon to build their new home. A communal supper was to occur outside the two-storey house that was Ephraim's home. For the next couple of hours, Lu and Negan busied themselves building their new home. They were given a cabin tent, which was large enough to fit both of them properly. Lu, who seemed calmer than Negan, took charge of the task. She chose a spot next to a cedar tree and began building their tent with Negan following her instructions. Apparently, she was the tent-building expert between the two of them.

"This could be a sanctuary for us and the baby," she started, attempting to make him see the bright side of his rushed decision.

He was about to open his mouth and tell her how he felt, that he was displeased by the fact that he had to take orders from someone. It also didn't help that he felt something bad was going to happen. "Yeah, I fucking hope so," he told her instead, deciding that he might as well be as optimistic as her.

For the next couple of days that followed, Lu and Negan settled in nicely in Paradiso. For the rest of the week, they were given the responsibility to join Danny and his crew to go out on supply runs and also given shifts to patrol the gate. During her first official day in Paradiso, Lu also met the doctor that Monica had told them about and she quickly let Negan know how lucky they were because Susan, the doctor, used to be a gynaecologist. Although Negan was still uncomfortable in Paradiso and he felt something in the pit of his stomach that something terrible would happen, he was glad that at least, his decision benefited Lu and their unborn child.

* * *

Perhaps it was dawn when Negan returned to his and Lu's cabin tent and he found her fast asleep with her bat next to her. He had finished his patrolling duties and was eager to go to sleep. At the sight of her sleeping soundly, a little part of him felt a little better. At least she was safe in Paradiso, he thought to himself as he kicked out of his boots and crawled next to her.

"Negan?" he heard her call quietly. His movements had woken her up and he felt guilty for doing so.

"Go back to sleep, baby," he replied as he pulled her close to him.

Negan listened to the silence that surrounded him as he held her close to him. He assumed that she had gotten back to sleep. He could smell the strong scent of cedar that came from the cedar tree next to where their tent stood. He hated that smell, he thought it was too strong and overpowering. However, for some reason, Lu seemed to love it and as a result, she had chosen to erect their tent close to it. He guessed he had to put up with the smell for a while, hopefully not forever. Meanwhile, his sleepiness had disappeared and his mind was filled with thoughts about his plans for his family.

"Negan," several minutes later, he heard her murmur against his chest.

"Hmm?"

"I've noticed something about this place," she began as she held onto him tighter.

"What?" came his lazy response.

"There are no children around or old people, well, people older than Ephraim I mean," she spoke against his chest. Her observation struck him. "It's weird. I thought that given the fact that they're a community, they would have families around with little children." She looked up at him, a worried expression was on her face. "I thought that our baby would have kids to play with, you know."

Negan pressed a kiss on her lips. "We can always make more," came his response that made the apples of her cheeks turn a bright shade of red. However, Lu's observation certainly remained at the back of Negan's mind.

* * *

 **hey guys, i hoped you all enjoyed this chapter**

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	12. Ephraim's Leadership

**IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL'**

* * *

Ephraim showed a great deal of interest in Negan. He saw potential in him. He clearly had the potential to be a leader. As result of Ephraim's interest in Negan, it became apparent that Negan also became his fast favourite. He often paid Negan and Lu's tent located next to the lonely, lone cedar tree a visit just to speak to Negan and get to know the man that he was. Despite Negan's intimidating demeanour, excessive cussing and more often offensive sense of humour, Ephraim saw a lot in him.

Of course the others began to notice Ephraim's interest in Negan. One person in particular was Danny who was the man that filled in the role as Ephraim's right-hand-man since Paradiso was established. He didn't appreciate Ephraim's sudden interest in Negan. Meanwhile, Negan himself also noticed that Ephraim had taken a liking towards him. Quickly, Negan decided to take advantage of it. He used Ephraim's interest in him to convince Ephraim to give Lu another type of responsibility to fulfil because to him, having her go out on supply runs was dangerous, especially now that she had a baby in her belly.

"Yeah, okay, I'll figure something for her," Ephraim assured him, much to Negan's delight.

"Funfuckingtastic," grinned Negan, "and while you're at it, give her a light job will you, we can't have a pregnant woman breaking her fucking back now do we," lightly, Negan added.

Ephraim didn't seem to get the light humour in Negan's words. "I'm afraid that there are no light or heavy job in Paradiso, Negan. All responsibilities here are equal," the old man stated.

The following week, Lu was assigned to work in the vegetable garden with Susan, the doctor, and Negan was glad to learn that Ephraim had fulfilled his request. He was beginning to consider that the old man wasn't that bad. In fact, Negan was starting to think that life in Paradiso wasn't so bad after all. Lu certainly seemed happier, although she would still tell him every night when they would lay together in their tent, surrounded by the scent of cedar wood, that she missed his apartment but she would also admit that Paradiso was the closest thing to a sanctuary that could replace their old one.

Ephraim invested plenty of his time on Negan. He noticed that Negan was charismatic with an interesting demeanour. A lot of Paradiso's ordinary citizens were intimidated by the big, loud man that is Negan. However, at the same time, they respected him greatly and saw him as a good addition to the group. As weeks turned into a month, Ephraim invested a lot of time teaching Negan about leadership. He introduced Negan to the process he followed to run Paradiso smoothly.

"You know, before the world turned shittier, the doctors said that my days were numbered," Ephraim informed Negan, "I think it's a miracle that I'm still alive but I can feel that the time is coming very soon," he admitted. "I want to make sure that Paradiso is in good hands before I leave and I honestly believe that you have the potential to take over this place, Negan. Danny is a good man but he's not very smart. You on the other hand, can be both the brain and the brawn."

Negan was stunned by this revelation. He hasn't been a part of the community for a while and already Ephraim was thinking of him as a good leader of the community. It surprised Negan. "I gotta admit, Ephraim, I'm flattered," Negan exclaimed.

"To be an effective leader, you have to establish control to dominate over your people," advised Ephraim, "they won't listen to you if they are not intimidated by you." Negan made a remark about Ephraim not being so intimidating to him and he wondered out loud how the people of Paradiso found him intimidating. "It's simple really," explained Ephraim, "if any of them don't listen to me or fail to follow the orders, they are simply on their own. The thing is, most of these people don't want to be on their own. The world's already a lonely place and being alone will only make it worse."

"To practice control, you have to know how to manipulate," continued Ephraim as he shared his wisdom to Negan.

"And how the fuck do you suggest I manipulate people?"

"It's simple, by finding out their weakness," Ephraim responded with a chuckle, "you use their weakness to your advantage and you tell them what they want or do not want to hear, depending on what your intention is."

In that very moment, Negan felt very cautious and wary. A little part of him sensed that Ephraim knew exactly what his weakness was. In fact, it won't take a genius to guess what it was. Once upon a time, his weakness was his Harley Davidson…now, it was Lu and their unborn child. He guessed that one of the reasons why Ephraim had told him about all the stuff he did was to intimidate Negan and practise his control over him and Negan felt like a moron for falling for it. Now, Ephraim had delivered the message clear that if Negan ever screwed him over, he knew his weakness to make him pay.

That was the reason why Negan was instantly obliged to follow his every command. With control over him, Ephraim finally was able to relax as Negan was introduced to a dark secret that the leader practised. It all happened a couple of months since he and Lu were recruited as members of the community. Negan left to go on a supply run with Danny and the others while Lu was left behind, tasked to do a different chore.

They went to the north side of town to scavenge for any supplies when they came across a small family. Instantly, Danny made the decision to corner them. The small family consisted of an old man who seemed to be nearing his dying days from old age, a lanky middle-aged man, a frightened middle-aged woman and a girl around the age of six. Danny and his men searched their vehicle for any supplies they could take. Negan found himself conforming. They found nothing, literally nothing. It seemed that the family they cornered were struggling to survive on their own.

However, rather than offering them a place in Paradiso like Danny did to Negan and Lu, the group, without hesitation, used four bullets to execute the family. The turn of events shocked Negan and in that very moment, he was frightened…not for himself but for Lu whom he had left alone back in Paradiso.

"What the fuckity fuck was that about?" he cornered Danny, unable to contain himself.

"That is what we do, asshole," came Danny's response as he tried to wiggle free from Negan's grasp. "We take down the weak, the vulnerable people who wish and pray that they can find a safe zone," Danny explained, spitting down at the corpse of the elderly man he had killed. "The truth is, there's no safe zone for these weaklings. No one will take them in because they are incapable of taking care of themselves and they are dependent on others.

"Why do you have to fucking kill them?" Negan demanded. Since the incident with Lu back at the hardware store, he decided that it was only right to kill if there was a reason. He had a reason to kill those two people at the hardware store and that was to protect her. He didn't see any possible and reasonable reason for Danny and his men to kill the four people they just murdered.

"We do it before the walkers do and turn them into monsters themselves and they become an even bigger problem," Danny explained. That very moment, Negan finally realized what Lu's observation in their early day in Paradiso meant. There were no children, families or elderlies in Paradiso because they were not welcomed, they were the weak and the vulnerable that has to be eliminated according to Ephraim's leadership.


	13. Life in Paradiso

**IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL'**

* * *

A lamp was the only source of light in the cabin tent as the wind blew gently outside and the smell of cedar wood filled Lu's nose. She hummed a familiar tune to herself as she searched for some clothes to wear while dressed simply in her underwear with a towel wrapped around her hair. She pulled out one of the first pieces of clothing she found which was Negan's white t-shirt and slipped it on. As soon as she got herself clothed, she heard retreating footsteps from the side of the tent, alerting her.

Quickly, she snatched her bat that rested against the tent wall and rushed outside the tent only to bump into Negan who had returned fresh from his trip outside the compound with some men of the community to apparently recruit people. "Christ, Lu, are you going to murder me with that bat?" he laughed as he took it from her hands.

"Were you sneaking from the side of the tent?" she asked him.

"No," laughed Negan. Lu was suddenly mortified. Has someone been watching her get dressed? "Why?" he asked.

"N-nothing," quickly, she assured him, keeping her worries to herself and deciding that she had just imagined it. "Anyway, how was the trip?" she asked, her green eyes looked up at his' brown eyes while she waited for a response.

Negan forced a smile on his face. He wasn't going to tell Lu the activities he discovered Danny and his men did under Ephraim's orders nor was he going to tell her that lately, he'd been a part of the cruel activities because she would simply disapprove. The thing is, Negan was doing it all for her. He needed to be in Ephraim's good side, even just until she gives birth because they needed Susan, the doctor.

"Good," came his meager response as he tried to distract her from asking any more by pressing his lips against hers. They kiss under the moonlit sky, surrounded by the scent of cedar wood coming from the tree that stood next to their tent.

He felt her swelling belly and broke the kiss to get down on his knees while he caressed the little bump. "Baby's been very good," Lu assured him as she ruffled his hair.

* * *

For weeks, life had been steadily normal. Negan hated keepings things from Lu but he knew he has to. It was for her own good. For now, he needed to show Ephraim that he was a loyal member of the group so that no harm would come to Lu's way given the fact that Ephraim was clearly aware that she was his weakness as well as their unborn child. To make himself feel better, Negan simply told himself that he just had to wait until Lu gives birth with Susan's help…after that, he'll take Lu and their baby away, far away from Paradiso to their own sanctuary. He didn't want to be the next leader of Paradiso. He was no longer interested in the role.

Meanwhile, Lu and Susan's friendship continue to develop as they worked together every second day in the garden, tending the crops. One thing she loved about Susan's company were the stories that Susan would tell her about her own children. It made Lu more than excited to have her own.

"…they grow up so fast though. One moment they're learning how to walk and the next, they're packing their boxes to go to college. God, I miss my kids," Susan smiled, wiping a single tear from the corner of her eyes.

"I'm sorry about your kids, Susan," apologetically, Lu gave the older woman an embrace. During the time that she and Susan had developed a friendship, she learned that Susan's family had perished during the early stages of the outbreak.

"Get back to work," Lu almost jumped when she felt a hand smack her butt. She turned around with a scowl on her face to face the person who had committed the act.

"Don't you dare touch me again like that," sharply, she told Danny, pushing him away with all her might and as result, he stumbled backwards but the smug smile remained on his face.

"Sorry, I can't help myself, take it as a compliment, though," Lu was more than appalled by his response that it left her speechless.

"Leave her alone, Danny before her man teach you a lesson you won't forget," snapped Susan, speaking for Lu. Danny merely laughed smugly before he trudged away, leaving a very shaken Lu. She kept her encounter with Danny to herself. In fact, her encounter with Danny wasn't an isolated event. Some days later and she had a couple of men cat-call her on her way back to her tent as if she was some prostitute that they want to call over. She snapped at them but it didn't mean that their actions didn't spook her. She certainly started growing a little cautious whenever Negan was not around, especially when she was alone in their tent and she would hear shuffling or footsteps from outside. Her baseball bat never left her side when Negan was not around to protect her, which lately seemed to be all the time.

A few days later, Lu returned to the tent after fulfilling her daily chores to see a familiar figure lying down inside the tent. She kicked out of her boots in glee and rushed to his side. He had been gone for almost four days.

"I fucking hate the smell of the motherfucking cedar wood," he whined like a child as they lay together. She closed her eyes, content in the comfort of being back in his arms.

"That too bad because I love it," came her retort. "Guess what," she got up and looked down at him, anticipating his response.

"What?" lazily, Negan asked. His exhaustion went away as soon as she entered the tent and leaped into his arms, claiming how much she and the baby missed him.

"Susan taught me how to knit," proudly, she announced as she rushed to retrieve the project she had begun. She showed him a square piece of knitted fabric.

"What in the fucking world is this meant to be?" laughing, he asked.

Lu blushed. "Well, it's not finished yet, obviously, but it's going to be a bonnet, for our baby then I might make some shoes after and gloves because winter is coming-…" He silenced her by pulling her down and kissing her harshly and hungrily.

"Finish one project at a time, baby," he reminded her, laughing at her enthusiasm as Lu blushed.

"Of course I will, I'm just planning things out," she explained. "I can't wait until we get to meet him, Negan," she sighed, collapsing back on their makeshift bed.

"Him?" he repeated. He didn't quite recall knowing the gender of their baby.

"I'm pretty sure we're having a boy," she declared which was news to him.

"And how did you now that, hmm?" Negan wondered as he looked down at her. She got her pretty, little smile on and he was tempted to kiss her again but he wanted to hear her response.

"Well, Susan and I have been talking about some old wives tales," she began as Negan tried not to laugh out of pure amusement. "She noted that I'm carrying all out front and low and I've been craving salty food a lot lately and she said that those signs could mean that I'm carrying a boy, according to the old wives tale." Finally, Negan was unable to contain his laughter, he burst out laughing until his belly was hurting.

"Is that what you get up to when I'm gone?" he mused as he cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. If there was one thing Negan wanted their child to be born with, it would be her beautiful eyes.

"Pretty much," she replied sheepishly. "But honestly I really think we're having a boy, I can feel it in my bones," she insisted as Negan kissed her again.

"I'm sure he'd be just as good looking as his old man," arrogantly, he noted and this time, it was her who laughed and he wasn't even joking.

* * *

 **hey guys, i hope you all enjoyed this chapter**

 **i'd really appreciate it if ya'll drop a REVIEW and let me know what you think so far**

 **also, i hope you all watched the comic-con trailer for TWD Season 7, its amazing and i'm pumped for the upcoming season :) i'd love to hear what you guys think about it too**


	14. The Thrill of Parenthood

**hello everyone!**

 **sorry for the super late update, i've been having some issues with this website lately, i dunno if it's my internet or the website itself that's making it super hard to navigate around and upload files...**

 **but anyway, here's a fresh new one and don't forget to drop a REVIEW after, i'd like to read what ya'll think of this chapter**

 **p.s.**

 **not long to go now before the end :'(**

* * *

 **IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL'**

* * *

For the first time in days, Negan slept soundly in the comforts of his new home with Lu by his side. It was a cold yet sunny day when he woke up to see her missing from his side. Negan guessed that she had gone out due to her morning sickness. As he got himself dressed, he heard Lu's familiar voice calling out his name from outside and within seconds, she was running inside the tent, breathless.

"Are you okay?" he raised an eyebrow as he looked at her questioningly.

"He was moving," she exclaimed excitedly. "I felt him move in my belly!"

Negan didn't expect himself to be just as excited as her... perhaps even more. A few seconds later and he had his hands on her belly while he pressed his ears against it, listening for anything. "I think he was only stretching," Lu explained, "he stopped moving by the time I got here, sorry." He looked at her with a frown, disappointed. Lu chuckled as she ruffled his hair. "Don't worry, he'll move around again and I'll make sure you get to feel it," she assured him with a cheerful grin on her face.

"Well, Junior better move before I leave again tomorrow," muttered Negan as he stood up, towering over her petite form.

Lu smiled softly. "I've been thinking about what we should name him," she started as she walked around their tent with one hand on her belly and the other supporting her back. Her belly had grown significantly recently and she was not due for months.

"Enlighten me," grinned Negan as he folded his arms across his chest and waited. She was clearly very confident that they were having a boy. It became even more apparent when she started telling him name suggestions.

"I'm thinking of Robert Anthony David Christopher," she told him.

"I think that's a bit excessive, baby," chuckled Negan.

"It's my Dad's and my brothers' names," blushing, Lu explained. "We can add Negan Junior too if you like and rearrange the names," she continued as Negan grinned wider.

He approached her and wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her body close to him, her swollen belly kept them slightly separated. "What if Robert Anthony David Christopher Negan Junior is actually a girl?" he mused. He could only laugh to himself at the expression on her face, she clearly did not prepare any girl names to respond to his challenge.

"Lucille, we'll call her Lucille Junior," laughed Negan as Lu looked up at him with a tomato coloured face.

"Fine but I'm still sure we're having a he," she insisted.

* * *

Negan was occupied during the day fulfilling one of his responsibilities by patrolling the perimeter of Paradiso while Lu was given a much lighter task in the communal kitchen to prepare the meals. He was getting tired of having to work to fulfil his responsibilities in the roster almost everyday. If he wasn't outside doing dirty tasks for Ephraim with his men, he was busy slaving away in Paradiso. While Lu may be content with the type of life they were living, Negan was getting fed up with it. Lu's idea of a sanctuary certainly crossed his mind on more than one occasion. The idea that he could build his own community and lead with Lu and the baby by his side was certainly enticing. He just needed to wait. He kept telling himself that he just needed to be patient. As soon as Lu gives birth with Susan's assistance, Negan will take his family out of Paradiso and establish his own domain.

Meanwhile, as night time neared, Lu busied preparing for the communal dinner. In Paradiso, everyone would gather for a meal outside Ephraim's house twice a day. Brunch and dinner were often shared by the community's residence. The pregnant Lu found herself busy preparing the mismatched plates and cutleries that she would be washing later after the meal. Her back was sore but she kept it to herself. Often, a day's work would leave her very exhausted but she knew that she had to work to keep the shelter they have. Often, she fantasised about the pleasant life that she and Negan shared in his apartment. A lot has changed since then except for the bond that she and Negan developed.

"What's for dinner, pretty girl," she heard a voice ask as Lu felt someone's hand on the small of her back. She glanced up at the person who approached her, her gaze was dark and unfriendly.

"Please don't touch me," coldly, she told him.

Danny looked down at her with a smug grin. "What? I'm not touching your cute butt this time," laughed Danny. "Do you want me to?"

"Asshole," she muttered to herself as she moved away from him but Danny wasn't done making her feel uncomfortable just yet. He followed her and grabbed a hold of her arm, immediately, he forced her to turn around and face him.

"I guess being a dick and having a potty mouth is sexually transmitted nowadays, huh," commented Danny. "It's a shame, you're a pretty little thing and you ended up getting knocked up. It's a real shame."

"Let my arm go, Danny, and don't come near me ever again," sharply, Lu told him as she attempted to free her arm from his grasp but Danny only held it tighter, tight enough to bruise her skin. "What the hell, Danny! Let go!"

"You heard her, dipshit, get your fucking hand away from her," spoke another voice as Negan forcefully yanked Danny's hand off Lu's arm, freeing her. He held Danny's wrist firmly and it was tight enough to make Danny yelp out in pain. "Don't fucking come near my woman ever again, do you fucking understand me?"

"Relax Negan," laughed Danny, despite the pain he was experiencing as Negan held his hand tighter, "I was just checking her out, it's not like I would tap her anyway. I get it, she's yours, I respect that-…" Danny's words trailed off as Negan planted his fist into his face, immediately silencing him.

"Fuckity fuck no, don't even fucking think about checking her out, motherfucker. In fact, don't even think about her because she's not fucking yours to think about," Negan muttered coldly as he pushed Danny with such force that the grown man stumbled and fell on his butt. "If I fucking see you near her again, I swear I'm going to fucking crush you, Danny."

* * *

Later that night, Lu came home to their tent located next to the lone cedar tree after she spent a couple of hours finishing her duties for the day. She found Negan already lying down on their makeshift bed. He wasn't asleep and he was staring at the ceiling of their tent. What troubled her was the fact that he seemed to be in deep thoughts. She noticed that he had been unusually quiet since the encounter with Danny.

She got changed out of her clothes and crawled into bed next to him. He didn't seem to notice her until she reached for one of his hands and placed it on her belly. "He's moving," she spoke softly as Negan placed his other hand on her belly to feel more of the baby's movements.

"Funfuckingtastic," he turned to look at her with a grin.

She reached to cup his cheeks with her hands. His beard immediately tickled her palms as she memorised every little detail of his face. "What's wrong?" she finally asked because she knew that he wasn't as happy as he was earlier during the morning even though he was finally able to feel their baby move.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," Negan reminded her, "I want you to look after yourself, Lu. Please be careful."

She kissed the tip of his nose. "I'm always careful," she assured him.

"I know you are baby, I know you fucking are," sighed Negan, "I want you to remember that this place is not the sanctuary we had before," he told her, "back in our sanctuary we only worried about the dead but there are plenty of people here and they are more fucking dangerous than the dead."

Lu nodded her head. "I know that, stop babying me, I'm an independent woman," she smiled, attempting to comfort him.

"I know, baby, I know you are," he sighed before he pressed a kiss on her forehead. He turned his attention to her swollen belly and pressed a kiss on it too. He looked back at her face and his brown eyes found her kaleidoscope green eyes. "I promise I'll find our sanctuary, Lu. We'll leave this place once you give birth and I'll build the safest and the best motherfucking sanctuary just for you."

She pinched his cheek playfully. "Okay," she smiled. She truly believed him in that very moment because Negan never made promises and the fact that he just did made her confident that he would fulfil it.


	15. False Paradise

**IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL**

* * *

Lu woke up alone with Negan's scent surrounding her. Yawning loudly to herself, she laid on her back while staring at the ceiling of the tent with her hand on her swollen belly. She smiled to herself. It won't be long now before the baby's arrival and she certainly couldn't wait to meet him. She fantasised what he would look like. Would he have Negan's dimpled smile? Negan's brown eyes with a tint of green?

"Lu!" snapping her out of her fantasy was the sound of Susan's voice. She sat up and saw the woman, panting heavily as she entered the tent.

"Is everything okay?" Lu asked, suddenly worried. Susan looked as if she just ran a marathon. Susan shook her head, unable to reply, she panted heavily while trying to catch her breath.

"No," panted Susan. "Lu we have to leave now!" she announced between heavy pants as she approached Lu, dragging her out of the bed.

"What do you mean, Susan?" she asked. "What's going on?"

"It's Negan," Susan replied, "they're going to kill him."

Instantly, Lu yanked her arm free from Susan's grasp. "What do you mean? Who?" terrified, she asked. Lu's heart was racing.

"Danny!" Susan exclaimed. "They have been plotting to kill Negan," Susan revealed. "Look, I overheard Danny a few minutes ago talking to Emilio. He said that he ordered his pawns, Will and Darcy to get rid of Negan and pretend that the death was an accident." Lu's eyes widened in shock. Negan had left for his supply run with the twins, Will and Darcy, already as far as she was concerned.

"We have to go and warn Negan," frantically, Lu declared despite the fact that Negan and the twins were probably miles away. Who knows if Negan was still alive. No matter how much Lu believed in Negan and his ability to defend himself, he was outnumbered and the twins were two very strong brutes.

"I'll go report it to Ephraim, he'll provide us with a vehicle. I'll meet you outside," Susan informed her and Lu only nodded her head as she watched the woman walk away. Lu knew that Negan was Ephraim's favourite and it was probably the reason why Danny wanted him dead…because he was jealous. Her stomach lurched at the idea of Negan being hurt or worse, dead. She recalled his words the night before. Paradiso was nothing like the sanctuary they hoped it would be. She recounted Negan telling her that people are more dangerous than the walkers and now she thought that he was so very right.

Just a couple of minutes after Susan left her, Lu was ready to head out of the tent and meet the older woman at the gate when Danny stepped inside the tent. He let out a low whistle at the sight of her and although he stood a distance away, Lu could smell alcohol on his breath. "What do you want?" she demanded rudely. "I know what you've been up to, asshole, and you better not think that you can get away with it."

In response, Danny simply laughed before he charged at her, tackling her to the ground. Lu let out a groan, her sore back throbbed from the contact and with Danny's weight pinning her down, she had no way of escaping. He began to reach forward in an attempt to tear her shirt open. However, Lu aggressively clawed his face with her nails. A growl left Danny's lips as she attacked him with her hands. Her nails dug on whatever part of his face she could scratch. At one point, she swore she scratched his eyeball.

"You stupid bitch!" Danny screamed as he planted his fist hand into her face, leaving Lu's face stinging from the impact. She spat at him and gained the upper hand while he was distracted wiping the saliva off his face. With all her might, she punched his nose, the action probably hurt her more than it hurt him but it was enough to get him to get off her while clutching his bleeding nose.

Lu thought that she could get away easily now that he was distracted. She got up but just before she could race out of the tent, Danny grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her back down, causing Lu to fall face first on the ground. She had knocked a pile of folded clothes off as result and desperately, Lu threw the clothes at Danny one by one as a desperate way of defending herself. They fought for a couple of minutes, trashing the place in the process. She threw items at him from left to right as she tried to claw her way out of the tent but Danny would not let her go so easily.

Desperate and with no idea how she could escape Danny, Lu screamed for help. Negan and her tent was situated away from the other tents but she hoped that someone would hear. However, Danny didn't even let her scream out the entire word 'help' because he covered her mouth with his hand even before she could finish. "You bitch, I'll kill you."

He withdrew a knife and Lu frantically struggled out of his grasp. She really thought it was her end and Negan was nowhere to save her. She felt the tears in her eyes at the thought that he was dead already and she was about to suffer the same fate as well as their unborn baby. However, the knife had slipped out of Danny's grip as his arm around her neck loosened. Lu watched as Danny's body collapsed on the ground.

"Lu, are you okay?" Susan asked. Lu had never been so relieved as she turned around to face her saviour. Susan threw aside the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire she had used to knock Danny off before embracing Lu tightly. "We have to leave now. You have to get out of here. They want you dead. Ephraim sent Danny to get rid of you."

Lu looked tearfully at Susan. "Why?" it broke her heart to hear about all these revelations. Paradiso was meant to be a paradise…a sanctuary…a home.

"Because this place is not for the weak and he sees a pregnant woman like yourself as not only weak but also a burden," Susan explained. "Come on, I negotiated with the bridge guards, we only have a few minutes to escape. We have to leave now before Ephraim finds out that Danny wasn't able to kill you."

Lu got up from the floor. Her body felt sore. She grabbed the closest thing to her, Negan's leather jacket before she followed Susan out of the tent, leaving Danny's unconscious body behind. The bridge was down for them by the time both women got there. They stepped out of Paradiso without looking back and walked towards the woods. "Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" Susan asked Lu who seemed to be slowing down.

Lu's head was spinning and her body felt sore. She was exhausted and as a pregnant woman, her body was not coping well with the exhaustion. "I'm fine," she assured Susan. However, the doctor knew better.

"Let's catch our breaths for a couple of minutes," Susan announced, stopping just outside the woods.

However, as it turned out, they were only few minutes ahead of Ephraim. As it turned out, Danny had woken up alone in the messy tent and quickly reported to Ephraim. The gates were soon lowered and a small group of armed men stepped out. Among them was Danny who wanted to finish the job he failed to end earlier. Both women had been resting just outside the woods when they found them and they called out to both women, informing them that they would not fire if they surrender but both knew that they would suffer the same fate anyway if they comply.

"Go, Lu, save yourself," Susan told the younger woman as she nodded towards the direction of the woods.

"No!" Lu protested, "why can't you go with me? We'll both escape Susan, we'll both run."

Susan shook her head with a sad smile on her face. "You have to go Lu, one of us is going to get captured either way and it's better if it's me than you and the baby. Save yourself, I'll slow them down." Susan withdrew a revolver and pointed at the woods for the last time. "Go!"

"Thank you," it was Lu's last words to her friend before she disappeared into the vast, thick and untamed woods. Lu heard gunshots, plenty of them as tears poured down from her eyes to her cheeks while she ran for her and her baby's life, fleeing from the place she thought was paradise.

* * *

 **hey guys, i hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter  
I'd like to read what you all think/feel about this chapter so don't forget to drop a REVIEW :)**


	16. The Birth of a Monster

**hey everyone, sorry for the late update. I've been really sick for the past several days and I can't even get out of bed so I apologise for failing to update for over a week. anyway, here's a new chapter and i hope you guys will enjoy it.**

 **don't forget to let me know what you think after! :)**

* * *

 **IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL**

* * *

Two agonisingly long days. Negan was very irritated by the fact that he was away from home for two agonisingly long days. The supply run was scheduled to go on for only a day but a terrible storm prolonged it. Not only that, Negan had to deal with two rogue people who attempted to end his life but failed miserably. All he got from the confrontation was a bruised lip and the twins who tried to stab him in the back lost their lives trying to do the dirty deed. He wasn't easy to kill. He was swift and he had good senses. Clearly, the twins underestimated him and so did the man who ordered them to kill him and Negan had an idea who it could possibly be.

The journey back to Paradiso was a long and incredibly boring one. Negan swore each minute felt like an hour. All he wanted to do was come home to Lu, to hear her voice, see her smile, look into her green eyes, hear her stories about Susan's children and feel their baby's movement against her belly. He wondered how big her belly was now even if it has only been two days. He missed her badly. Two days was the longest time they have been apart and it was killing him. He cannot wait to go home not only to see her but to teach Danny a lesson too. He can't get rid of him easily and he never will. Negan almost felt smug at the idea that he had gotten rid of two of Danny's loyal minions.

After the storm that delayed Negan's return home, the weather was perfectly fine once again although it was a little chilly due to the cold season approaching just around the corner. Negan almost jumped out of the van as soon as it entered Paradiso. He ignored the curious looks sent his way. He had one destination in mind and it was the cabin tent next to the lone cedar tree. He made his way home. He guessed Lu wouldn't be home yet and assumed she was currently busy doing her chores but he would wait until her return. For now, he didn't see any problem lying down on their makeshift bed and surround himself with her scent.

However, as soon as Negan stepped inside his' and Lu's cabin tent, he immediately knew that something was very wrong. Lu was a very neat person and she liked to keep everything clean and organised. When Negan stepped inside the tent and saw their things that were scattered all over the place, he knew something was wrong with the picture. His' and her clothes were scattered everywhere along with the little items they owned as if the place has been ransacked.

Immediately, Negan began to worry. The fact that the inside of their tent had been trashed was worrying. On his way out of the tent, something caught Negan's eyes that made everything even worse. There, in the corner of the tent, was none other than Lu's bat. She never left the tent without her bat. From that point on, Negan was more than worried. He knew something happened.

He picked up Lu's bat and stormed out of the tent. All of his fatigue after his perilous trip home disappeared replaced by pure terror and worry. The first place that Negan headed off to was none other than Ephraim's house. He tried to be as calm and composed as possible as he stepped inside and asked for Ephraim. He was led to Ephraim's office where he found the elderly man occupied reading a book.

"Negan," Ephraim seemed a little stunned to see him as Negan stepped inside the office, shutting the door behind him.

"Where's Lu?"

"Negan-…"

"Where the fuck is Lu?" he demanded harsher this time when he saw Ephraim hesitate.

"Negan, I'm afraid I have some bad news," Ephraim told him as Negan approached the older man in fast, long strides while he held Lu's bat firmly in one hand. "Something happened with the baby while you were gone and well, she-…"

"She what?" demanded Negan.

"Lu passed away," Ephraim explained, stopping Negan in his tracks.

Negan glared at Ephraim. "Do you think I'm a motherfucking idiot, Ephraim?!" demanded Negan as he grabbed the older man by the throat. "You're lying," he announced. "Where is Susan? I want to talk to her." Ephraim seem to grow nervous instantly. He began to squirm as he attempted to free himself from Negan's grasp. Impatient and angry, something within Negan snapped and aggressively, he let go of Ephraim only to hold Lu's bat with both his hands. Violently, he swung it and hit Ephraim across the face with the bat's barbed end.

The older man lets out a frightened gasp as he stumbled back, clutching his bleeding face. "Where is she?!"

"DEAD!" Ephraim shouted in response as he looked at Negan in complete horror. Negan swung the bat again and hit him in the same spot he did before. The barbed wire pierced Ephraim's face, leaving him bleeding while the force of the impact left his face numb from the overwhelming pain. "She has to go Negan, you know that she has to," Ephraim explained shakily as he stepped back, attempting to get away from Negan. "A pregnant woman is a weak and useless member of this community and once she gives birth to that baby, she'll forever be a burden to me and my people, even to you."

Negan couldn't talk. He didn't know what to say. In fact, he didn't know if everything that Ephraim had told him was true. He almost wished it was some sick joke but April was months away. "Who killed her? Did you fucking do it?" demanded Negan as he cornered Ephraim, leaving him with no chance of escaping.

"D-Danny, Danny and his men," shakily, Ephraim replied in hopes that Negan would spare him.

Negan sighed. "And where is she? Where is my woman?" he was surprisingly calm as he asked.

"Danny left her body in the woods," Ephraim responded. "Please Negan, it wasn't my-…" Ephraim's words were cut short as Negan bashed his head with the baseball bat harder than he did before. Ephraim wasn't able to scream out for help as Negan mercilessly beat him to death with the bat until the weapon of death itself was soaked with Ephraim's blood and bits and pieces of Ephraim's flesh was adorning the barbed end of the bat.

Maimed to death, Ephraim lay motionless in the corner of his office. His face was beyond recognition and his skull was cracked enabling his brain to spill out as blood poured out in abundance. Negan looked down at the dead man hatefully. He spat on Ephraim's dead body before he left the office as if nothing had happened, locking the door behind him so that no one else could come inside and discover the damage Ephraim received from him.

Negan wanted to find Danny and his men to hear from them whether Ephraim told him the truth, even if a big part of Negan already knew that in his dying moments, Ephraim told him the truth he still cannot quite grasp. As he walked out of Ephraim's house, he was still hoping that he would see Lu somewhere. Then she would greet him by running up to him and giving him one of her pretty smiles as she gave him a hug and a kiss before declaring that their baby had missed him too. Somehow, it was only a fantasy now.

Rather than finding Danny or his men, Negan left the compound. All he had to do was bark aggressive orders at the man guarding the gates before Negan found himself freely stepping outside with Lu's bloody bat in his hand. He wanted to see for himself first. He wanted a proof that Ephraim's words were true. Negan trudged to the woods with his heart hammering hard against his chest. He was afraid. The last time Negan recalled being so afraid was when he was just a boy watching his father beat his mother to pulp.

Negan didn't have to look hard or even step far into the woods for that matter. He found a body instantly as he neared the shrubbery that separated the woods from Paradiso. There was nothing left but remnants of bones and a bloody imprint of a body on the ground. Negan threw the bat aside as he collapsed on the ground next to what was left of Lu…his precious Lucille.

Negan wouldn't have been able to recognise the body if it wasn't for the familiar black, leather jacket discarded next to her. It was his leather jacket. She must have taken it with her in her final moments while trying to flee for her life. He didn't know how long he sat there next to Lu's body. It was almost impossible to believe that the bones next to him was owned by the same woman who kissed him goodbye two days ago. He never cried in his adult years before, ever. He held what was left of her in his arms, the foul scent of death was strong but Negan didn't care. He held her tightly as he cried like a helpless little boy.

* * *

When Negan returned to the compound, carrying several human bones, the patrolling guard was taken off guard but said nothing. They were afraid of him and the fury that flashed through his eyes. Negan lay her remains next to the cedar tree she loved so much. He disappeared inside their tent, dumping the bat and his leather jacket inside before he picked up the blanket they shared in cold nights to wrap her remains in it. He was numb the whole time. He can no longer cry. He shed all the tears he could shed when he found her. Now fury was building within him. Negan left her remains next to the cedar tree as he went back inside the tent to retrieve her bat. He made his way to a familiar trailer located next to Ephraim's house. He knew Danny lived there and he also knew that he was going to make him suffer.

He didn't knock or asked permission to be allowed inside, instead, Negan kicked the door of the trailer open and welcomed himself in. Danny looked at him in horror, as if he had just seen a ghost. there were several bruises on Danny's face and his nose looked as if it was in a terrible state and it pleased Negan to assume that Lu must've put up such a fight before she perished.

"Hello, motherfucker," smugly, he greeted as he slammed the door shut behind him.

"N-Negan?" the shaky Danny seemed unsure if it was really Negan standing in front of him. He assumed Negan died when he didn't return. Danny's gaze landed on the bat Negan held. Immediately, the first thing he noticed was the blood on the bat and on Negan himself.

"I beat Ephraim to death with this bat," Negan boasted, "do you know why?" There was silence, Negan smiled as he towered over Danny. "You see asshole, a fucking pregnant lady has to be fucking nurtured not murdered." Negan stopped in front of Danny. Unblinking, he swung his bat and hit the top of Danny's head with it with such brutal force that both men heard a crack. The cracking sound made Negan feel pleased to know he had cracked his skull. "I know you tried to get me killed and I also know you killed Lu."

"Negan, I didn't-…" Danny tried to explain but Negan bashed his head with the bat even before he could explain himself. He didn't want to hear his pathetic excuse.

Negan didn't speak anymore simply because he thought that if he uttered any more about her, he would cry again even if there was no more tears he could shed. He was very convinced that he had emptied his supply of tears when he found Lu's body. Instead, Negan went into a frenzy for the next several minutes that followed. With Lu's bat, he killed Danny. As he got covered in his blood and as Danny begged for him to spare his life in his final moments, Negan never regretted his actions. Lu had always been against the idea of killing people. According to her, it was walkers that they have to kill. However, Negan did said once that he would kill for her and right now, he would kill for her to have the justice she deserved.

She was not only murdered but she had been robbed her too. They robbed her of her chance to be a mother. They had cruelly taken her life away and in the process, they took away her dreams for a sanctuary not only for herself, her family but also the vulnerable people who cannot fend for themselves. They robbed him too. They had taken her and their unborn child prematurely from him. They were worse than the walkers that most people feared. They were the perfect example why the living were much more dangerous than the dead.

Negan left Danny's heavily maimed body in the trailer. Lu's bat was covered in blood and flesh. As he walked away from that trailer, a sense of satisfaction took over him knowing that he had avenged her. At the same time, he still felt empty because avenging her would never bring her or their baby back. She was gone forever and he was by himself now with just the memory of her to remind him that she was real and not some sort of dream.

As the sun begin to set, Negan dug a deep hole in front of the lone cedar tree. No one dared to approach him. As he buried the remains he believed was Lu's, everyone knew what he had done. Negan didn't care. He didn't care if the people of Paradiso feared him or despised him. He cursed Paradiso and the false sanctuary that it was which eventually led to Lu's death. All she wanted was to be a mother and find a sanctuary where she could be safe and where she could help others feel safe but she wouldn't be able to do that now.

When Negan returned inside the tent, he gathered as much of his' and Lu's things that he could gather. He changed out of his bloody clothes and packed his bags with whatever things that he could use. He shoved a whole lot of Lu's oversized t-shirts inside his bag, still bearing her scent. He never found out why she wore her pesky oversized t-shirts that could fit him when she had a perfect body to show off but it was one of the things that made Lu herself.

On his way out of the tent, Negan picked up a familiar leather jacket he had earlier discarded. He slipped it on. It smelled strongly like Lu and since they moved to Paradiso, Lu smelled like cedar wood. He never knew why she loved the cedar tree next to their tent what he knew though was that she loved the smell of cedar wood very much.

Negan left Paradiso that evening, he rode his motorcycle and he began his perilous journey to search for a sanctuary for himself with Lu now just a memory.

* * *

 **stay tuned for next chapter :)**

 **and please don't forget to drop a review, it'll be greatly appreciated**


	17. Scary New World

**hello everyone! i hope you all enjoyed last chapter**

 **just a little note, this chapter was set up around the period of the Governor's terror and specifically around the time Rick banished Carol for burning two members of their prison group**

* * *

 **IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL**

* * *

The street was eerily quiet until the silence was disrupted by the sound of a sputtering car engine. A dusty small car came to a sudden half in the middle of the road after its engine finally gave up after weeks of service. Weak, starving, sleep deprived and heavily pregnant, a groan escaped Lu's lips when the trusty car she had been driving for weeks final stopped. She punched the steering wheel and cursed under her breath. While she could very easily check the problem of the vehicle, Lu was too exhausted to waste her time doing such thing. Instead, she tiredly got out of the car and decided that she was better off walking. Night time was approaching fast and she certainly needed to find shelter rather than waste her time fixing a broken car. Lu's hand touched her swollen belly as she began to walk in the middle of the empty road. She was in the middle of nowhere with nothing but gigantic, ancient trees on either side of the road.

She was weak, hungry and overall exhausted and she had no idea how long she had been walking when Lu saw an approaching vehicle coming her way. It was an old sedan car. Her legs wobbled weakly as she raced towards the vehicle. As result of this sudden action, her head began to spin. She cannot afford to use too much energy, especially when she almost had none but she was desperate. Somehow, she no longer cared if she was going to get run over or not. She was miserable. She also didn't care if the person driving was good or bad. As much as she wanted to die, she had to live for her baby. It's what Negan would want. She raised her hands and waved frantically as the vehicle slowed down. As it got closer, Lu saw the only person inside the car. The driver was a middle-aged woman with greying, short hair.

The woman got out of her car as Lu held her swollen belly. In her excitement to encounter another human being, Lu didn't even notice that her body was trembling in fatigue. What she soon felt instead was the pain. Since she left Paradiso, there has always been pain everywhere, physically, mentally and emotionally. However, this time, the pain was physical and it was stronger than she ever felt before. Weakly, she smiled at the approaching woman. "T-Thank you," it was her last words before Lu's weak, trembling legs finally gave out and she fell backwards, landing on the ground and her head slamming against a slab of concrete on the ground in the process. The woman raced towards her but she was already on the ground before she can reach her. By the time she got to Lu, she had lost consciousness and the woman was left with the task of hauling the unconscious, pregnant woman to the car and finding a shelter for both of them before nightfall.

Several hours later and Lu opened her eyes tiredly only to be welcomed by the scent of food. The smell of food prompted her stomach to make a very loud noise and a very embarrassed Lu quickly sat up. In the process, she instantly noticed something very strange. There was something in her stomach that was making it abnormally hard to sit up. As she dropped her green eyes down south to her stomach to check the abnormality, her eyes widened in surprise to see that her belly was large and swollen. "What the hell!?" in shock, she uttered out as she got up in a desperate attempt to check whether her big belly would go away if she got up.

Unbeknownst to Lu, her commotion earned her companion's attention. "Is everything okay over there?" after hearing someone's voice, Lu quickly searched for its source. Her gaze landed on the woman sitting in the corner of the room that looked like an office with a makeshift indoor campfire. Lu instantly thought it was odd that she had a little fire going inside the room. However, she was momentarily distracted by the sight of the canned beans that the woman was heating over the fire, the smell of the canned beans was the smell that greeted her the moment she woke up and the sight of it made her mouth water. Was she really that hungry that her mouth was watering over canned beans, Lu wondered to herself since she was never a fan of any type of beans growing up.

"Where am I?" Lu asked, "and who are you? Why do you have that fire inside this room, wouldn't the fire alarm go off?" she began to throw all these questions to the grey-haired woman sitting crossed legged and looking at her with narrowed eyes.

"What else don't you remember?" suspiciously, the woman asked. "Do you remember your name?"

"Of course I remember my name!" exclaimed Lu, "it's Lu. Who are you? Why are we here? Why is my tummy so fat?" she continued to question the grey-haired woman who was suddenly looking at her with her mouth agape. Lu watched as the woman got up and approached her slowly.

"I'm Carol," calmly, the woman introduced herself, "and I found you earlier, before you collapsed and hit your head pretty bad," she pointed at Lu's head and automatically, Lu's hand reached up to touch her head. She instantly felt the bandaged wrapped around the upper part of her head. "As for your fat tummy, well, I don't know how to break this to you if you haven't realised it yet but you're pregnant."

Carol's last word made Lu take a step back. Pregnant? PREGNANT? "B-But-…" her voice trailed off. She cannot remember anything that would explain her mysterious pregnancy. Was she raped? The last time she had a boyfriend was a very long time ago. Lu had no time for men, they were childish and silly and her brothers would not let any men near her life so how in the world did she get pregnant? "I need to go home. My family must be worried sick."

Before Carol could say anything else, a still very confused Lu rushed towards the door and stepped outside. She was greeted by complete, utter darkness. There were no streetlights illuminating the streets and even the surrounding buildings had their lights off. Lu thought it was strange but assumed there must be a blackout. She began to trudge towards one direction while her eyes adjusted to the darkness quickly. She assumed this direction would lead her home as she heard footsteps behind her, assuming it was Carol. However, the moment Lu heard the eerie sound of someone growling continuously behind her, she quickly turned around to see what Carol was up to. Much to her surprise, it was not Carol. The horrid stench was the first thing that greeted her as she stood frozen in her spot while the creature, whatever it was, approaching her slowly. It cannot even walk properly as if moaned and groaned. Lu looked at it, both transfixed and horrified. Parts of the creatures' appearance seemed human but it predominantly looked terrible, as if a billion maggots started devouring its flesh and chose to abandon it halfway through their meal. Its teeth were grey and yellow in some parts and it looked very brittle like the bones that were showing in several parts of its body. Its clothes were tattered and bits and chunks of its flesh were missing. Before the creature could take one more step to claim her frozen form, it fell limply on the ground with a knife sticking out of its head. Standing over the creature was none other than Carol who looked at Lu with a scowl.

"Get back inside," barked Carol as she pulled her knife from the creature's head. It took Lu a couple more seconds before she responded to Carol's orders and followed it.

"What was that thing? Is it dead? Why does it look like that?" she demanded Carol for answers the moment both woman entered their little safe zone.

"That thing was a walker," answered Carol. "You remember nothing, do you?" Lu shook her head. Carol then began to interrogate her, asking her what year and date she thought it was and what her last memory was. Much to Carol's complete disappointed and horror, Lu had no memory of the past six years of her life. The outbreak started over a year ago and Lu had completely forgotten all about it. Lu had woken up earlier thinking that the present year was the year from six years ago. However, what Carol considered worse about the whole thing was that she had no idea about the pregnancy and had forgotten the father of the child she was carrying.

For the next several hours that followed, both women conversed, predominantly Carol explained to Lu the state of the new world since the outbreak occurred. "…I found you alone and judging by your state, you have been alone for quite a while," stated Carol while they shared the can of beans with Carol giving the starving Lu most of it. "As for your family, I don't know how to help you find them if you can't remember anything."

"They're dead, aren't they?" mumbled Lu as she stared at her empty food container. "They wouldn't leave me on my own if they're still alive, especially my brothers."

"It's okay," comforted Carol, "don't be upset, think about you and your baby's future." The mention of her baby prompted Lu to glance down at her belly. She still wondered how she got pregnant. Has she finally fallen in love with somebody and now she had forgotten them? Or was she a victim of some pig's horrid behaviour and her pregnancy was the result of it?

"Will you teach me how to use that?" Lu pointed at the Carol's knife. Carol was right, she needed to think about her future as well as her baby's. She cannot just sit in the corner and weep about her forgotten memories. Carol had described to her the state of this new world since the outbreak, she needed to toughen up to survive. She needed to be like Carol. In response to her request, Carol simply nodded her head and took the empty food container off her hand before ordering her to rest and retire for the night.

* * *

The following day, Lu was woken up by the feeling of discomfort and pain as result of her cramping stomach. It left her in tears and her quiet sobs eventually woke Carol up. "Is everything okay?"

Lu sat up and in the process, noticed the wet stains on her jeans. "I think my water just broke," she admitted as she looked down at her soaked pants. Upon hearing this, Carol's eyes widened in shock. She got up from her seat and approached the younger woman. Carol was a mother and she had gone through the pain of childbirth in the past. At the sight of Lu, she knew instantly that the time for Lu to give birth has come.

"Relax and breath," Carol instructed the younger woman as she helped Lu removed her pants. Both their hearts raced. Carol repeated the instructions her doctor had given her many years ago when she was in labour with her daughter, Sophia. It was a nerve-wracking time back then and Carol understood exactly what the young mother before her felt.

The childbirth lasted for several minutes. In fact, it felt like hours. Lu felt the pain that was ripping her apart. She tried not to scream. There could be walkers outside and she cannot afford to draw attention to her, Carol and the baby. She pushed and pushed, following Carol's whispered instructions. She was glad Carol found her. Carol seemed to know how to do things.

"You're doing great, one more big push," Carol instructed her. They were both sweaty and exhausted.

Lu felt tears in her eyes as she pushed for the last time with all her might. There was so much pain that somehow, she felt numb. However, the sudden noise that filled the room made the hairs at the back of Lu's neck rise. Despite her fatigue, Lu extended her hand forward, eager to have the crying child in her eyes. There was something about the sudden presence of the baby that made her feel a little better despite the fact that she remembered nothing about the child's conception and let alone about the baby's father.

Carol smiled as she cleaned the baby before handing it over to the eager mother. It certainly took Carol back to the time that she first became a mother. "It's a little girl," announced Carol as she placed the crying child in her eager mother's waiting arms. "Do you know what you're going to name her?" Carol asked as she watched the new mother cradle her child. It reminded her of the time she had given birth to her only child.

"No," admitted Lu sheepishly. "What do you think? Should I call her Carol?"

This made Carol laugh. She shook her head. "How about Sophia?"

Lu smiled. "I like that," she approved as she looked down at the child in her arms. Sophia stopped crying and was very relaxed in her mother's arms. She blinked back at Lu before opening her little mouth to yawn. Lu couldn't help but giggle as she looked down at the baby she held. Sophia had big, brown eyes and a tuft of dark brown hair. "Well, Sophia, it's going to be you, me and Carol from now one. Promise me you'll be a good girl and I promise you that I'll try to be the best mother I can be." Sophia yawned and Lu noticed that she had dimples. It was almost weird since no one in her family had dimples. Could it be possible that Sophia got it from her father? She kissed Sophia lovingly, somehow glad that she was not alone even if she had forgotten many years of her life.

* * *

 **i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**

 **a little fun fact: i was initially gonna kill Lu off during her confrontation with Danny haha so i hope i made the right decision to keep her and the baby alive**

 **please don't forget to drop a review and let me know what you all think :)**

 **it makes me sad to say that this story is coming to an end but stay tuned for the next chapter which is gonna focus on Negan**


	18. New World Order

**hey everyone! well, this is the final chapter. this chapter is pretty long because i combined two chapters in one, i figured you guys deserve a pretty long chapter due to my very late update**

 **i hope you all will enjoy this chapter and i hope you all enjoyed the whole story overall!**

 **thanks a lot again to everyone who followed Negan and Lu's story, it's been a pretty wild ride. some of you might wonder why i'm ending the story now and the thing is, this story is only meant to provide a backstory about negan and lucille so i'll leave the future of this story to your imaginations :) i don't really know about writing a sequel yet but who knows.** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **anyways, don't forget to drop a review after and enjoy!**

* * *

 **IV**

 **'FEROCIOUS HELL'**

* * *

 ** _Several Months Later_**

A small group of women dressed skimpily in outfits that barely covered their bodies watched as a man donning a black, leather jacket left the room holding a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. They were his wives and they made up his little harem. They were carefully chosen women and one of the main reasons they were chosen as a part of his harem was because of their certain features. Some were brunette, some petite and one of them happened to have green eyes. Negan knew that he could never have his Lu with him physically ever again nor will he ever find an elfin beauty like her so he had to improvise even if none of the women he chose ever made him feel the way Lu did. When he slept with the women he now call his 'wives' he would picture one particular face and he never stopped wishing that it was her that he was with. He was a man who lost someone very close to him. One day she was there and then it all just fell apart. She died and it broke him. It left him feeling numb as a result. He stopped feelings since her death and as result, he didn't feel scared, happy or even sad. The only thing that was keeping him alive was his survival instincts. He was only human after all and it was natural for a human being to thrive to survive in the new world. He was alive but he was no longer living…his motivation to live died with her because she was the only thing that made him feel alive, emotionally and mentally. Now he just lived to survive and while he worked hard to survive, he also worked hard to make Lu's vision a reality. Just several months since he left Paradiso, he made her dream come to life.

When Negan founded and established the Sanctuary, his domain, he only had one person in mind. He swore he would rebuild civilisation. He wasn't doing it for himself, he was doing it for her because it's what she wanted. He formed a group and named them the Saviors and it was their duty to protect the people from the dead and even from themselves. Negan still believed that people were more dangerous than the dead. The living were more unpredictable and that made them a bigger threat. The Saviors controlled the surviving groups within their territory simply because Negan liked to make sure there was order and less chaos. He offered them protection that they needed and therefore, he kept many weak and vulnerable groups safe. It was his sweet Lu's ultimate vision, a safe environment for the weak and incapable because she disapproved of the idea of the survival of the fittest which she deemed unfair.

However, as Negan used to tell Lu, you can't run a charity in the new world. In exchange for protection, everyone had to pay. Negan wasn't greedy and he didn't ask for too much, at least he thought asking for half wasn't too much. He thought it was a pretty fair deal and Lu was in fact the one who suggested the idea once. What he has done since her death was all for her. He made her fantasies come to life, at least according to his standards. He had to adjust things to fit to the state of the new world because unlike Lu, Negan knew the state of the new world a little better.

However, only recently, a new group disrupted the peace and challenged the order Negan had established. He had to deal with them now. He left the Sanctuary that day, thinking about this new group. He didn't worked his ass off to establish order only to be usurped by some rebellious people who didn't know how to follow the rules. Negan knew he had to teach them a lesson. He had to show them who was at the top of the ladder and assert his dominance because as he learned from his experience in Paradiso, the only way people will listen and follow was if they were intimidated. It certainly worked with Ephraim. Danny and his men listened to him when he decided that the pregnant Lu needed to go because Ephraim had control over them. Ephraim certainly controlled Negan once too simply because he knew what Negan's weakness was and he used it as leverage to get him to do what he wanted. Although Negan hated Paradiso and cursed the place almost everyday since he left, at least, he learned a lot about leadership from it. He was going to teach this new group a lesson that they will never forget. He will find their weakness and he will use it to destroy them just like what Ephraim did to him. Negan thought it was only fair that if he had to go through that trauma, so did everyone else.

* * *

The rebellious group that Negan had targeted fell right easily to the carefully thought out plan and found themselves in the spot where Negan wanted them to be. They were shaken and clearly afraid. Before they encountered a man like Negan, they thought nothing worse could ever come to them anymore. They thought they have faced the worse of the worse but the man before them was a whole different story…even his meagre posture screamed power. However, the group or anyone else for that matter had no idea of the things Negan had to go through to get to where he currently was. Just like them, the end of the world had been rough to him. One might say harsh or even cruel.

Negan addressed the group before him as the Saviors surrounded them, watching the interaction closely while remaining alert. The members of the rebellious group were lined up and were forced to kneel before him. Some tried to put on a brave face while the others were clearly terrified. They had nowhere to go and the smirk on Negan's face told them that he got them where he wanted them to be. He began to speak as the chilliness of the air made many shiver. Although he spoke like an average charismatic man, there was an underlying tone in his voice that was dangerously threatening. It made even the bravest man hesitant to interrupt him.

The night was young and everyone knew that it was going to be a long night. Negan in particular had no problem whatsoever. He talked to the group before him and informed them of the new world order he established. He wanted to make it clear to them who was the boss now.

"…you don't think you were gonna get through this without being punished now, did you?" Negan asked, addressing the crime the rebellious group committed when they slaughtered a number of his men. "I don't want to kill you people. I just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're dead, can you?" Negan continued as his brown eyes looked down at each group member kneeling before him. "But you killed my people. A whole damn lot of them. More than I'm comfortable with and for that, you're gonna pay," he grinned. He always made sure he had a reason to end someone's life or else he knew his Lu would be shaking her head at him in shame. He was not some psychopath who killed every living thing that moved. Negan was smart and he tried to make sure all his moves were carefully thought of. He had been stupid and naïve once and where did that leave him? He lost the love of his life.

"So now, I'm gonna beat the holy hell out of one of you," he announced. Negan felt the horrified gazes coming from different pairs of eyes before him. "This is Lucille," he looked admirably at the baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire he held ,"and she is awesome," he inhaled deeply, anticipating the smell of fear from the horrified group in front of him, instead, he smelled the familiar scent of cedar wood drifting through the air. He looked rather affectionately at the object he held in his hand named Lucille. He recalled the days when it wasn't him holding the bat but a strong-willed, gutsy woman who would leave a big man like himself feeling butterflies in his stomach whenever they were together because she was special like that. He smiled to himself as an image of a girl with kaleidoscope eyes flashed through his mind. All Negan had now were memories of her and he will always cherish those memories more than anything.

* * *

Several days after Negan killed a member of Rick Grime's group with his baseball bat, he decided that it was time to visit Alexandria for the first time and collect half of their supplies like what was agreed. "Just look at this place!" exclaimed Negan as he stepped inside Alexandria with a big grin on his face. "It's motherfucking, cocksucking magnificent!" he yelled out as Alexandria's residents who can see him looked at him and his men in caution. Alexandria was a fairly large abode. The moment Negan set foot inside the compound, he couldn't help but let out a low whistle in complete awe. He'd seen several settlements before and he must admit that walking into Alexandria made him feel like the world was normal again. He looked around and noticed houses from left to right. He was impressed. It wasn't that he didn't like the Sanctuary, his own settlement which he established in an abandoned factory site, it was just Alexandria had a more homey feel to it. He turned his attention to the quiet Rick Grimes, the leader of the Alexandrians whom he had recently taught a lesson for causing chaos in his new world order. "My men are going to split up and search the houses a bit," he informed Rick. Of course Rick had no say or whatsoever, Negan was in charge now.

With a nod to his men, Negan gave them the quiet order. Negan and the Saviors came to Alexandria for one reason only and that was to claim half of their supply like what was agreed. The Alexandrians were now working for Negan and in exchange, he offered them protection both from the dead and from the Saviors themselves. "As for myself, I expect you to take me on a tour," grinned Negan, addressing Rick. Rick seemed unimpressed by this but said nothing and instead, nodded his head simply.

They began to walk side by side with Negan smiling from ear to ear. It would be easy to assume that he was just asking for a tour around the settlement but Negan had deeper intentions, he was trying to memorize every significant detail of the place that was worth taking note of. Meanwhile, Alexandria's residents cautiously watched Rick walk alongside Negan. Some looked at Negan in fear while some looked at him hatefully for what he had done to them. For them, he came and ruined the order that they had in Alexandria before. He was a storm that they wanted to go away.

"You know, Rick, all of you should be grateful that you all live in houses because to tell you the truth, it is a motherfucking luxury in this new world," said Negan as he addressed the large, beautiful, clean looking houses that they would walk past.

"There are not a lot of things to see. What else do you want to see here?" spoke Rick. Negan rolled his eyes and sighed at Rick's lack of enthusiasm.

"Fine, I'll fucking tour myself around this motherfucking place," muttered Negan. With his baseball bat in hand, he trudged further ahead.

"NO!" shouted Rick as he jogged after Negan. Clearly, he didn't want to leave Negan by himself in Alexandria, he needed to keep a constant eye on him. After all, Negan just killed their friend in cold murder to prove his dominance over them, he cannot afford to lose another friend.

Negan smiled to himself as he let Rick catch up to him. For a while, both men walked around the neighbourhood while Negan, who was never comfortable with silence, whistled to himself. People seem to stay out of his way and those who kept an eye on him simply watched him through the window of their houses. Soon enough, Negan's whistling came to an abrupt halt when he was distracted by a faint noise coming for one particular direction. He tilted his head to one side and listened closely, recognising the faint sound as a crying child and several voices. Before he could tell Rick to take him to wherever the commotion was, Negan realised that Rick was already on his way, leaving Negan to catch up. Both men ended up inside a particular house ran and handled by Olivia who not only looked after the armory but also the community's pantry.

"What's going on here?" demanded Rick even before Negan himself could ask the same question. He was glad Rick asked the question anyway because the moment Negan stepped inside, he almost dropped his bat in shock as his mouth dropped open.

Was he dreaming? No, he wasn't but there she was, whether she was a ghost or not. She stood with a wailing child in her arms. His elfin beauty. Negan didn't even notice everything that was happening in the background as he focused his gaze on the woman standing near the door. She stood there, completely unchanged, even the way she did her hair. She was dressed in some loose button up shirt and jeans and it took Negan back to those days when they were inseparable together and he'd whine that she won't dress up sexy. In her arms was a screaming baby no older than five months. As far as he was concerned, Negan Junior would've been around the same age as the baby but the child in her arms wore a pink onesie with floral patterns all over baby seemed very restless as she struggled to calm the child down and stop her from crying.

Whether both the woman and the child was a figment of his imagination or not, Negan found himself walking towards them instead of addressing the commotion that was taking place in the background. He was going to find out whether the woman was who he thought she was. Whether she was real or not, or whether she was just a carbon copy, he was determined to discover the answer fast. His footsteps came to an abrupt halt right in front of her, his gaze transfixed at both her and the child in her arms. Was he hallucinating now? Was he imagining Lu and their baby? Or was he just being a fool and mistaking someone else as Lu? As he began to wonder about this, his closeness suddenly made the woman look up at him, turning her attention away from the wailing child and looking up at the man who invaded her personal space. The moment their gazes clashed and Negan caught sight of the pair of kaleidoscope green eyes blinking back at him, Negan knew that it was her and she was very real. No one else had those kaleidoscope green eyes but her. No one else can look at him and make him feel alive and so very human but her. She was no doubt his Lucille.

Initially, for a split second that followed upon his realisation that it was Lu standing before him, several questions raced through Negan's mind. How did she survive? Why didn't she come looking for him? But one question stood out in Negan's mind. Why was she looking at him the same way the Alexandrians led by Rick looked at him, cautious and fearful? It was as if they didn't spend over a year together, surviving since the beginning of the outbreak that ended the world. It was as if she didn't recognise him as the man he believed she loved and still do.

Before he could utter her name, she spoke shakily, addressing him. "I'm sorry, am I in your way?" she asked, completely failing to acknowledge him in the way Negan anticipated. They have been separated for months. She should be jumping in his arms! Instead, he was left feeling stumped when she addressed him like how she would address a stranger. His disbelief left him frozen and speechless and no matter how much Negan wanted to wrap his arms around her and kiss her and the crying child he knew was his', he couldn't move. She moved aside and excused herself outside with Negan's eyes following her. Almost quickly, his feet started to do the same and he found himself following her.

Negan completely ignored Rick and his men as he stepped out of the armory. He instantly found Lu struggling with the child. Her back faced him as she gently comforted the bawling baby and Negan suddenly felt hesitant to approach her and invade her space once more. He was still very much confused by Lu's treatment of him. Was she ignoring him? Was she pretending she didn't know him because he killed someone from her current group? "It's okay, Sophia, are you hungry? Is that why you've been crying?" he heard her soft voice murmur, addressing the baby she held. A few seconds passed before the baby she addressed as Sophia finally stopped crying.

Inhaling deeply, it was the part of Negan that was too eager to be reunited with his family that had taken over him. Whether she was pretending, he wasn't going to let this moment go to waste. He spent agonisingly long months believing she died with their baby, he wasn't going to let her go now. "Pardon me but do you need any help?" he asked with a smile on his face as he gently tapped her back. She was caught off guard by his sudden presence. Clearly, she didn't expect him to follow her and as she spun around to face him with a look of surprise on her face, Negan realised the reason why Sophia stopped crying. Negan felt his cheeks grow warm after realising she had interrupted the mother breastfeeding her child. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry-…"

"No, no, I should be sorry," she interrupted him, "we'll be off, I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable-…" she began but he cut her off instantly. The very thought of her leaving with the baby frightened Negan somehow. What if he never sees them again?

Negan still found it odd that she hasn't acknowledged him yet. Instead of looking at him in delight to be reunited again, she looked at him cautiously like everyone in Alexandria did and she seemed a little frightened too. His Lu never looked at him that way, ever. What have they done to her? Negan gritted his teeth in irritation. "What's her name?" he asked instead, nodding towards the baby she was feeding.

She looked down at the child with a smile on her face. "Her name is Sophia," she replied. Negan never felt a hundred different emotions take over him before. It was the first time he felt that way as he watched the woman he love and his baby. He remembered the days Lu would restlessly emphasise her suspicion that they were having a boy and he remembered the names she'd come up with for Negan Junior. "She just started teething so she had been restless," Lu continued, revealing more information about the baby that Negan was more than eager to learn about. As she cradled the child she was feeding, Lu's gaze landed on the baseball bat he loosely held in his hand. Unbeknownst to her, it was the baseball bat he used to kill a member of her current group and the baseball bat he used to avenge her 'death' and named after her in homage to her.

"W-Where did you get that bat?" she asked all of the sudden, looking at the bat then at Negan's face questioningly. Upon hearing her question, Negan finally came to a conclusion that there was definitely something wrong with his Lu. She wouldn't pretend about not knowing anything about her baseball bat, especially when it was her beloved brother's.

"A pretty girl once owned it but she left it behind," answered Negan, hoping his response would ring a bell. "She had gorgeous fucking eyes too, like yours," he hinted. However, his only response from her was a nod.

"One of my brothers had a bat like yours," she revealed, an information he already knew about.

Negan decided to test her once and for all and see what she remembered and what lies they had fed her. "What's your name, ma'am?" he threw her an easy question.

She seemed hesitant to answer at first but was quick to give in. She knew that this man murdered her friend and was now taking almost everything they have in Alexandria but there was something about the way he talked to her, looked at her and treated her that made her feel oddly safe, like he wouldn't hurt her or Sophia. "It's Lu," she answered simply. Of course, he already knew the answer but nodded his head anyway in acknowledgement.

"And have you always been a part of Rick's group, Lu?" Negan asked. It felt almost strange to utter her name for the first time in months. She looked at him with narrowed eyes, unsure what his motives could possibly be.

"No," she finally answered. "I was pregnant with Sophia when one member of Rick's group found me. She helped me give birth but before I did, I hit my head pretty bad and I woke up without any memory of the past few years. I've forgotten almost six years of my life," she revealed. She was unsure why she was talking too much and revealing so much to this man who was supposed to be the enemy. His presence made her feel like she could trust him, as if he was harmless.

Lu's revelation left Negan stumped. She had forgotten everything…she had forgotten him! The last time he ever felt the happiness being drained out of his soul was when Ephraim told him Lu was dead. With her memories of him gone, Negan knew it was almost like losing her all over again. "Negan," snapping him out of his trance was the sound of Rick's voice calling him. "Your men are finished taking what we owe you."

"No," Negan shook his head as he turned his gaze away from Rick and back at Lu who was hastily buttoning up her shirt while balancing a drooling baby in her arm. Will he ever get to hold his own baby, he wondered to himself. Or does Lu secretly hate him now like everyone else in Alexandria for what he had done to one of them? He didn't want his Lu to hate him, not her of all people. "You never told me you have children younger than your fucking son in here, Rick," stated Negan, addressing Rick. "My men and I will only be taking a quarter. You see, I'm not as fucking evil as you probably think I am because I understand that a breastfeeding woman and her baby needs as much nutrients as they can to survive," explained Negan, hoping it would help redeem his image in Lu's mind.

His statement left Rick stunned and confused but he said nothing because he didn't want Negan to change his mind. With a simple order from Negan, Rick watched as the Saviors started returning half of what they took from the Alexandrians. Meanwhile, Lu was just as shocked as everybody else. She truly didn't understand what Negan's intention was and the fact that he mentioned her and Sophia in his statement made her curious. Surely she wasn't significant enough to help change his mind. However, she was grateful either way because like everyone else in Alexandria, she knew that they cannot survive for long with just half of their supply.

"Hey," she grabbed a hold of Negan's arm before he trudged away to follow his men and Rick towards the front gate. "Thank you," she said sincerely. Negan smiled. She may have forgotten a few years of her life but the Lu before him was exactly the same as the Lu he had fallen in love with. She was the same kind and often naïve Lu who would be willing to forgive a villain because of her morals. The last time Lu had forgiven someone so evil was when she had been shot by a scavenger he ended up killing and it left Negan confused and angry when she had forgiven the person who almost killed her. However, this time, he was glad that Lu still had her morals in tact because it made it easier for him to impress her. If she had no memory of their past together, Negan was more than determined to help her form new ones. He had won her over once, he can do it again. However, the only difference was that this time, he had to be cautious because he can no longer afford letting anybody else find out what his weakness was because the last time someone knew about it, it stripped him of everything he ever valued and he was not willing to go through that same trauma again, especially in the hands of Rick Grimes.


End file.
